I'm a newbie and I've read several pages of jokes, but I haven't read all 39 pages, so maybe this one has already been told. The joke of Paddy McCoy reminded me of one. So here goes:
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick’s Day.
At one point, Mick the bartender says, "You’ll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy".
Paddy replies, "OK Mick, I’ll be on my way then". Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off and falls flat on his face.
"Damn," he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again. "Damn, damn, I can't believe I drank so much!"
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and get some fresh air he’ll be fine. So he belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and says, "Ahh, much better". So he takes a step out onto the sidewalk and again falls flat on his face.
"By Jeebers… I guess I am a little more crocked than I thought," he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls down the sidewalk on his belly to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says, "No damn way". But he forces himself to crawl up the stairs to his bedroom door and says, "I can walk to the bed!" So he stands up and takes a step into the room, but again falls flat on his face.
He says "Damn it!" and belly crawls to his bed and pulls himself up enough to get on the mattress and falls fast asleep.
The next morning, his wife Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. I guess you had a bit too much to drink last night, huh?"
Paddy says, "yeah, I guess I did, what makes you say that?"
"Mick phoned… you left your wheelchair at the pub".