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Topics - dasher

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1
Big Blue Huddle / NGT- Quite a surprise reunion
« on: May 17, 2013, 12:49:51 PM »
Nine year old daughter hadn't seen her Afghanistan deployed dad for two years until this surprise moment. Since a Rays home game, inquiring minds wonder if our own Weeze was in attendance.
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/mlb-big-league-stew/deployed-dad-makes-surprise-return-rays-game-disguised-085858272.html
2
Big Blue Huddle / The Panic Room
« on: May 12, 2013, 11:11:43 AM »
Peter King of SI sat in the Rams war room for the 1st round picks. A great read on what happens in the room, plus an apparent  philosophy that is different than ours, I think. The Rams are from the school to go get their man, while we believe in letting the board come to us.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1207516/1/index.htm
4
Big Blue Huddle / Ryan Nassib most savvy pick says Bill Pollian
« on: April 29, 2013, 03:04:10 PM »
Throughout the seven rounds and 254 picks of the 2013 NFL draft, there were a lot of players with very impressive college careers welcomed into the professional ranks. And as I review all of the selections now, I'm reminded of one very important fact: All of those college titles, stats and accolades mean precisely zero in terms of their future in the NFL. The slate is wiped clean. From now on, the success of every player in this draft, be it No. 1 overall pick Eric Fisher or Mr. Irrelevant Justice Cunningham, will be determined by how hard they work and apply themselves on the pro playing fields.



As we reflect on the draft, we have a tendency to weight the higher picks more than players selected in later rounds. It's a natural inclination, but it's a faulty one. While they may not have stood out as much as their top-round counterparts in college, they have the same opportunity to succeed in the NFL. Just ask Joe Montana. Just ask Tom Brady. Just ask Alfred Morris.



In reviewing my favorite picks from the 2013 draft, that's a factor I keep at the top of my mind. And it's a big reason I think that the New York Giants landed a tremendous asset by taking Syracuse QB Ryan Nassib.





As I mentioned before the draft, there were no quarterbacks that I believed warranted an early selection. But that doesn't mean the position is devoid of talent. Just that these prospects need time to develop and make use of some of their tools and ability. With Nassib, he's going to get precisely that.



Playing behind Eli Manning, there will be no rush in his development. He can sit back, watch and learn, all while providing the Giants with a terrific safety net in the event of an injury to Eli and perhaps even proving to be Manning's successor.



By Nassib's third year in the pros, Manning will be 35, an age at which statistics have shown QBs usually start to break down physically. Their skills may not have diminished, but the accumulation of the punishment they've endured starts to take its toll and injury becomes far more common. By the time that starts to impact Eli, Nassib should be experienced to the point where the Giants will feel comfortable inserting him into a game and still feeling they have better than a 50-percent chance to win.



It may have seemed like a strange pick because quarterback isn't an immediate need for the Giants. But this pick was made with the long view in mind. And I think it was a very savvy selection.
5
Big Blue Huddle / Bob McGinn's Top 100 Board
« on: April 24, 2013, 01:07:09 PM »
Rich and I have followed this reporter's draft information for quite awhile and are convinced he has close ties with people in the know, maybe even the Packers.
He has won the Huddle Report's contest the past 2 years with scores in the mid to high 80's. I hope UK does a top 100 board which in all probability would be excellent.

The Journal Sentinel’s Bob McGinn lists the first 100 players that he expects to be taken in the National Football League draft this week. Note: McGinn's top 100 NFL draft board has been scored as the best in the country for two consecutive years, according to The Huddle Report, which tracks the top draft analysts.

OFFENSE (43)
 
 WIDE RECEIVERS (11) - Tavon Austin, West Virginia; Cordarrelle Patterson, Tennessee; Justin Hunter, Tennessee; DeAndre Hopkins, Clemson; Robert Woods, Southern California; Keenan Allen, California; Terrance Williams, Baylor; Stedman Bailey, West Virginia; Markus Wheaton, Oregon State; Chris Harper, Kansas State; Aaron Dobson, Marshall.

TIGHT ENDS (4) - Tyler Eifert, Notre Dame; Zach Ertz, Stanford; Gavin Escobar, San Diego State; Vance McDonald, Rice.

OFFENSIVE LINE (16) – Luke Joeckel, Texas A&M; Eric Fisher, Central Michigan; Lane Johnson, Oklahoma; Jonathan Cooper, North Carolina; Chance Warmack, Alabama; D.J. Fluker, Alabama; Menelik Watson, Florida State; Justin Pugh, Syracuse; Kyle Long, Oregon; Terron Armstead, Arkansas-Pine Bluff; Travis Frederick, Wisconsin; Brian Winters, Kent State; Hugh Thornton, Illinois; Larry Warford, Kentucky; Travis Schwenke, California; David Bakhtiari, Colorado.

QUARTERBACKS (5) - Geno Smith, West Virginia; Matt Barkley, Southern California; E.J. Manuel, Florida State; Ryan Nassib, Syracuse, Mike Glennon, North Carolina State.

RUNNING BACKS (7) - Eddie Lacy, Alabama; Montee Ball, Wisconsin; Le’Veon Bell, Michigan State; Giovani Bernard, North Carolina; Jonathan Franklin, UCLA; Andre Ellington, Clemson; Mike Gilleslee, Florida.

DEFENSE (57)
 
DEFENSIVE LINEMEN (19) – Sharrif Floyd, Florida; Ziggy Ansah, Brigham Young; Sheldon Richardson, Missouri; Star Lotulelei, Utah; Tank Carradine, Florida State; Johnathan Hankins, Ohio State; Datone Jones, UCLA; Bjoern Werner, Florida State; Margus Hunt, Southern Methodist; Sylvester Williams, North Carolina; Kawann Short, Purdue; Jesse Williams, Alabama; John Jenkins, Georgia; Brandon Williams, Missouri Southern; Sam Montgomery, Louisiana State; William Gholston, Michigan State; Corey Lemonier, Auburn; Akeem Spence, Illinois; Jordan Hill, Penn State.

LINEBACKERS (14) - Dion Jordan, Oregon; Barkevious Mingo, Louisiana State; Jarvis Jones, Georgia; Alec Ogletree, Georgia; Damontre Moore, Texas A&M; Manti Te’o, Notre Dame; Kevin Minter, Louisiana State; Arthur Brown, Kansas State; Kiko Alonso, Oregon; Jamie Collins, Southern Mississippi; Zaviar Gooden, Missouri; Jonathan Bostic, Florida; Sio Moore, Connecticut; Trevardo Williams, Connecticut.

CORNERBACKS (16) – Dee Milliner, Alabama; Xavier Rhodes, Florida State; D.J. Hayden, Houston; Jamar Taylor, Boise State; Desmond Trufant, Washington; Darius Slay, Mississippi State; Johnthan Banks, Mississippi State; Blidi Wreh-Wilson, Connecticut; Dwayne Gratz, Connecticut; Robert Alford, Southeastern Louisiana; Leon McFadden, San Diego State; Will Davis, Utah State; David Amerson, North Carolina State; Tyrann “The Honey Badger” Mathieu, Louisiana State; Sanders Commings, Georgia; Logan Ryan, Rutgers.

SAFETIES (8) – Kenny Vaccaro, Texas; Matt Elam, Florida; Eric Reid, Louisiana State; Jonathan Cyprien, Florida International; Phillip Thomas, Fresno State; T.J. McDonald, Southern California; Bacarri Rambo, Georgia; D.J. Swearinger, South Carolina.
     
 
6
Big Blue Huddle / Elie Offensive LeftTackles
« on: April 11, 2013, 11:47:05 AM »
ESPN Magazine just published an article stating that the OLT is no longer deemed an elite position by many clubs because of the impact of the "new" QB option read, pistol formations. The thinking is that across the line good zone blocking is more efficient and defenses will now try to combat these formations by up the middle pressure and not by DE  outside pressure. Not sure if I agree, but the article did say that the Giants were using JPP inside much more often. So, maybe??
7
Big Blue Huddle / Russ Lande's latest draft
« on: April 06, 2013, 12:43:15 PM »
Russ used to scout and even admits trying to project is very difficult, but what the heck- here it is with his comments.

To say that compiling a mock draft is easy would be an understatement because despite it being an impossible task, I always spend way too much time trying to get inside each team's respective head.  I try to incorporate what I feel are each team's needs with what I am hearing from numerous NFL personnel and my player rankings.  So enjoy the mock for what it is, have some fun and see if you agree with my reasoning for the picks.

1. Kansas City Chiefs: Eric Fisher, OT, Central Michigan, Senior: Sources I trust insist that Chiefs are aggressively trying to trade current left tackle Branden Albert and hope to acquire two second round picks for him. Once they trade him, they will have no quality offensive tackles on the roster, so they will select Eric Fisher who I think is the best offensive tackle in the Draft.


2. Jacksonville Jaguars: Dion Jordan, DE, Oregon, Junior: After signing DT’s Roy Miller and Sen’Derrick Marks to battle for the spot starting next to Tyson Alualu, the Jaguars turn their attention to upgrading their outside pass rush. While Dion Jordan may be thinner than ideal for a 43 defensive end, his explosive initial quickness and great pass rush ability would help him overcome that and be an impact player for Jacksonville in 2013.

3. Oakland Raiders: Star Lotulelei, DT, Utah, Senior: With Matt Flynn now handling the quarterback position, I would be surprised if Oakland used its first round pick on a young quarterback. Additionally, with Richard Seymour and Tommy Kelly not expected to return on the defensive line, the Raiders need a powerful interior player who has the athleticism to make plays behind the line of scrimmage and that is exactly what Star Lotulelei is.

4. Philadelphia Eagles: Barkevious Mingo, OLB, LSU, Junior: While Chip Kelly will be disappointed that Dion Jordan is already gone, they are excited about the potential that Barkevious Mingo has. A special athlete who constantly makes big plays rushing the passer; he would be a great fit at outside linebacker in the Eagles new 34 defense.

5. Detroit Lions: Bjoern Werner, DE, Florida State, Junior: In desperate need of outside pass rush help, the Lions debate between Ezekiel Ansah and Bjoern Werner. While Ansah may be a more explosive athlete with more potential, Werner is a more polished and ready player and the Lions need to win in 2013 to keep the head coach and general manager from being fired.

6. Cleveland Browns: Tavon Austin, WR, West Virginia, Senior: If the Browns want Branden Weeden to become a quality starting quarterback they need more offensive weapons. As they already have a big receiver in Josh Gordon, the Browns make a bold move to grab Tavon Austin who is similar to Steve Smith who was coached by Rob Chudzinski when he was the offensive coordinator of the Panthers.

7. Arizona Cardinals: Luke Joeckel, OT, Texas A&M, Junior: With Carson Palmer now expected to be the Cardinals starting quarterback in 2013; they need to make sure they can protect him. New general manager Steve Keim is shocked to see Luke Joeckel still available and grabs him quickly to give the Cardinals the left tackle they have been searching for in recent seasons.

8. Buffalo Bills: Ryan Nassib, QB, Syracuse, Senior: Although we constantly hear that either Geno Smith or Matt Barkley will be the first quarterback selected, the way the Draft has fallen leads to the Bills selecting Ryan Nassib. While a quarterback’s physical skills are important, the fact that the Bills’ head coach Doug Marrone coached Nassib at Syracuse means he knows how great Nassib’s intangibles are and wants to have him leading the Bills.


 9. New York Jets: Ezekiel Ansah, OLB, BYU, Senior: If the Jets’ defense is going to have any bite in 2013 they must improve their pass rush; especially from the outside. While Ezekiel Ansah is raw, he is at his best when lined up wide and given the space to use his rare athleticism to defeat pass blocks, which makes him an ideal fit as an outside linebacker in the Jets’ 34 scheme.

10. Tennessee Titans: Sylvester Williams, DT, North Carolina, Senior: According to sources, the Titans want to desperately upgrade their pass rush. Although they would prefer drafting a defensive end, with none worth using this high a pick on, they select Williams whose combination of great size, dominant strength, explosive initial quickness and all-around athleticism is better than any remaining defensive tackle.

11. San Diego Chargers: Lane Johnson, OT, Oklahoma, Senior: After finally cutting the cord on failed free agent gamble Jared Gaiter, the Chargers begin moving in a new direction at left tackle with the selection of Lane Johnson. With only two years’ experience playing offensive line, Johnson is not a finished product, but his height, long arms and athleticism give him the potential to be a good left tackle for many years.

12. Miami Dolphins: Dee Milliner, CB, Alabama, Junior: They traded Vontae Davis last year and lost Sean Smith in free agency this year, so the Dolphins definitely need to add talent at cornerback. Milliner possesses the rare combination of size (over 6’0), elite speed and top athleticism that makes NFL coaches drool. He should be a quality starter from day one.

13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tyler Eifert, TE, Notre Dame, Senior: While the Buccaneers reportedly have concerns about Josh Freemen being the answer at quarterback, they have to put weapons around him to give him a chance. Eifert is an elite receiving tight end prospect who would upgrade the Buccaneers underneath passing attack and make their offense multi-dimensional.

14. Carolina Panthers: Sharrif Floyd, DT, Florida, Junior: With Charles Johnson and Greg Hardy manning the defensive end spots, the Panthers outside pass rush is strong. However, the play of their defensive tackles has been disappointing in recent seasons and Floyd would give them a penetrating interior force that some view as the best defensive tackle in the Draft.

15. New Orleans Saints: Menelik Watson, OT, Florida State, Junior: With Jermon Bushrod now starting at left tackle for the Bears, the Saints offensive line needs help. Although Watson is not a premier player now, he has the physical talent to be a dominating blocker if he improves his technique and consistency.
 
16. St. Louis Rams: Keenan Allen, WR, California, Junior: With Jake Long now in the fold and no established high end receivers on the roster, the Rams are excited to grab Allen who I view as the best receiver in the Draft. With his size, hands, playing speed and run after the catch ability, he would immediately upgrade the Rams’ passing attack.

17. Pittsburgh Steelers: Cornell “Tank” Carradine, DE/OLB, Florida State, Senior: Although Carradine is coming off surgery to repair a torn ACL and only was a productive starter for one season the Steelers are willing to gamble on him. Pittsburgh’s defense was not the same impact, big play unit it had been in the past and needs to upgrade its outside pass rush.

18. Dallas Cowboys: Sheldon Richardson, DT, Missouri, Junior: As Dallas makes the switch to a 43 defense it needs to find a penetrating defensive tackle that can get into the backfield to pressure the quarterback and blow plays up behind the line of scrimmage. Richardson is one of the most explosive interior defensive linemen in this year’s Draft and would add a dimension that has been missing to the Cowboys’ defensive line.

19. New York Giants: Kenny Vaccaro, SAF, Texas, Senior: With Kenny Phillips now gone, the Giants have a huge need at safety and good thing for them that the highest rated player left happens to be Vaccaro as the Giants rarely deviate from their draft board. Vaccaro’s excellent coverage skills combined with his strong run defense make him the complete package and a big upgrade for the back end of their defense.

20. Chicago Bears: Chance Warmack, OG, Alabama, Senior: After signing Jermon Bushrod to secure Jay Cutler’s blindside, the Bears turn their attention to improving the interior of their offensive line. For Coach Trestman’s quick hitting passing attack to work, the Bears’ interior line must be stout and keep the defense from pressuring Cutler up the gut.

21. Cincinnati Bengals: D.J. Fluker, OT, Alabama, Junior: Although the Bengals may still decide to re-sign Andre Smith, it doesn’t seem likely. They need to make sure they replace him with a quality right tackle in order to continue to protect Andy Dalton and open running lanes for BenJarvus Green-Ellis.

22. St. Louis Rams (From Washington): Johnathan Cooper, OG, North Carolina, Senior: After signing Jake Long, the Rams improved their left and right tackle spots, assuming that Roger Saffold agrees to move to right tackle. However, their interior offensive line is still a work in progress and Cooper has the talent to be a quality starter at guard or center.

23. Minnesota Vikings: Cordarrelle Patterson, WR, Tennessee, Junior: After trading away Percy Harvin the Vikings need a versatile offensive weapon and according to sources we spoke with around the league, a number of teams feel that Patterson will be most effective in the NFL being moved around like a chess piece rather than aligning in the same spot most of the time.

24. Indianapolis Colts: Alec Ogletree, ILB, Georgia, Junior: The Colts switch to a 34 defense went much smoother in 2012 than we expected, but they still need playmakers. While Ogletree has some maturity questions surrounding him, he is so talented that he could bring the same game changing play to the Colts defense that Ray Lewis provided for Coach Pagano in Baltimore.

25. Minnesota Vikings (From Seattle): Xavier Rhodes, CB, Florida State, Junior: Longtime starting cornerback Antoine Winfield is no longer with the team and they need to find a cornerback to replace him. Rhodes has great size, enjoys playing physical man coverage and is good coming up and inserting himself into the run game.

26. Green Bay Packers: Eddie Lacy, RB, Alabama, Junior: The Packers have a number of holes that need to be filled, but they have struggled to control games with their rushing attack once they get a good lead. Lacy is not a premier running back prospect, but he is a strong and physical runner who can wear down defenses with his running style.

27. Houston Texans: Arthur Brown, ILB, Kansas State, Senior: There is no doubt that the Texans have a lot of talent on defense, but it was shocking how their defense fell off after Brian Cushing was lost for the season with a knee injury. Although Brown lacks Cushing’s height, he is the same instinctive linebacker who attacks the play, works through traffic well and explodes to the ball to make big plays. His addition would give the Texans a pair of inside linebackers to rival the 49ers combination of Patrick Willis and Navarro Bowman.

28. Denver Broncos: Corey Lemonier, DE, Auburn, Junior: While Lemonier lacks the bulk right now that the Broncos want at defensive end; he is an explosive athlete with the speed to threaten the corner. Coach Fox would love to put him opposite Von Miller in passing situations to give Denver two of the most explosive edge rushers in the league.

29. New England Patriots: Datone Jones, DE, UCLA, Senior: As the Patriots continue to re-tool their defense to get back to being an elite unit they jump at the chance to select Jones. A powerful athlete with natural pass rush skills, Jones can fit as a starting defensive end in their 34 scheme, line up as an outside linebacker in some situations and even could slide inside to defensive tackle when they want to go with a four man front. Players with this type of versatility usually rank high on the Patriots’ draft board.

30. Atlanta Falcons: Jamar Taylor, CB, Boise State, Senior: The Falcons cut Dunta Robinson and did not re-sign Brent Grimes, so they have major holes at cornerback. Although Desmond Trufant is a little more polished and DJ Hayden is on the board, the Falcons grab Taylor who impressed us throughout his final season at Boise State.

31. San Francisco 49ers: Johnthan Cyprien, SAF, Florida International, Senior: After losing Dashon Goldson in free agency the 49ers have a major piece to replace on their defense. Cyprien may not be a household name, but his combination of violent hitting ability, strong run support and good coverage skills make him a perfect fit to replace Goldson.

32. Baltimore Ravens: Manti Te’o, ILB, Notre Dame, Senior: The Ravens have no returning starters at inside linebacker after Ray Lewis retired and Dannell Ellerbe left as a free agent. So while Te’o is not a rare athlete or elite prospect, he is a good, solid football player with the athleticism to be a three down linebacker.

Email Russ at Russelllande@yahoo.com and Follow Russ on Twitter @RUSSLANDE
8
Big Blue Huddle / Another Draftmetrics Article
« on: April 04, 2013, 10:33:36 AM »
In this article Anthony discusses and analyzes where the players come from and what teams draft from what conferences. Interesting, 24% of the Giants picks come from the ACC which is 10 points higher than the league average and the Giants are tops in ACC talent. On the other end of the spectrum- the Giants rank bottom five in talent from the PAC 12
and the Big 12- averaging less than 7% from each, in fact being either the lowest or second lowest in each.
So, is a logical question what ACC player will be there for us at pick 19 (excluding LB'ers of course)? It's a 25% chance based on our draft history.
Hope you enjoy the read.
http://draftmetrics.com/files/DRAFT%20TENDENCIES%20FOR%20NFL%20TEAMS.pdf

Edit:I just checked National Football Post's Russ Lande's top 32 picks and find 7 potential first rounders from the ACC. Florida State has 4- Bjoern Werner DE, Cornelius Carradine DE, Xavier Rhodes CB, and the Brit- Menelik Wilson OT. North Carolina has Sylvester Williams DT and Jonathan Cooper OG. Clemson has DeAndre Hawkins WR.

9
Big Blue Huddle / NGT- A little love for my high school boy
« on: March 23, 2013, 12:32:47 AM »
Old dasher graduated in 1959 from little Lansing High School just north of Ithaca, NY. Flash forward 50 years and the Lansing class of 2009,  totaling 100 students, produces an elite athlete poised to set a possible alltime NCAA wrestling mark. Kyle Dake stays home and attends Cornell University. Freshman year wins NCAA 141 pound title, Sophomore year wins 149 pound title, and as a Junior the 157 pound title. This year, his senior year he moves up to 165 pounds and Saturday wrestles David Taylor of Penn State for the title. All Mr. Taylor did was win the 165 title last year. So there you have it- the only wrestler in NCAA history to potentially win 4 NCAA titles in 4 different weight classes.
The matchup has created so much interest that the NCAA has moved the match to last of the evening after the Heavywight match. There is even talk that such interest might create enough buzz that we will petition for wrestling to be readded to the Olympic venue.
I'll be cheering Kyle on. Win or lose, I'm extremely proud of the young man.
http://onwardstate.com/2013/03/22/david-taylor-and-kyle-dake-on-collision-course-for-match-of-the-century/

PS- Mike, ESPN is televising tomorrow nite.
10
Big Blue Huddle / 2013 Compensatory Picks
« on: March 19, 2013, 12:06:14 AM »
Here is the full listing of the 32 awarded comp picks. As anticipated, the Giants get one extra pick in the 7th round, albeit the next to last pick in the draft.
We signed 3 (Rogers, Bennett, Locklear) and lost 3 (Manningham, Tollefson, Ross).
The formula decided that although a net of zero, we lost more than we gained hence the awarded pick.
http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/blog/eye-on-football/21906837/nfl-announces-compensatory-picks-for-2013-nfl-draft
11
The Front Porch / Colonoscopy Journal
« on: March 15, 2013, 10:36:52 AM »


THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.

Colonoscopy Journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an
appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the
colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one
point passing briefly through  Minneapolis .

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said,
because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a
prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box
large enough to hold a microwave oven.  I will discuss MoviPrep in
detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to
fall into the hands of America 's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation.  In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep.  You mix two packets of
powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with
lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug.  This
takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a
hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a
great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'

This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may
experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here,
but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch?  This is pretty much
the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when
you wish the commode had a seat belt.  You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently.  You eliminate everything.  And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating
food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous.
Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurts.  I was
thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?'  How do you apologize to a friend
for something like that?  Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left
hand.  Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down.  Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.

At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got  yourself too tipsy to make it to
the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist.  I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere.  I was seriously nervous at this point.

Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began
hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA.  I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing
Queen' had to be the least  appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.

'Ha ha,' I said.  And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade.  If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea.  Really.  I slept through it.  One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt.  I felt excellent.  I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was
all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have
never been prouder of an internal organ.

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were
quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1.  Take it easy Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before.

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'



  And the best one of all:


13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'








12
The Front Porch / Eternal Peace
« on: March 11, 2013, 11:49:38 AM »
This is something I didn't know about Pearl Harbor survivors who request eternal peace with their shipmates who perished in the attack. Quite a moving ceremony.
Eternal Peace
13
The Front Porch / What a wonderful world
« on: March 06, 2013, 03:23:20 PM »
Reality shows---- BBC style. They get it!
http://www.youtube.com/embed/auSo1MyWf8g?rel=0
14
The Front Porch / Beautiful ladies of the silverscreen
« on: March 06, 2013, 12:43:02 PM »

This one is for jimv and all BBH movie and lady lovers.
Two questions
1- Of all those beautiful ladies, how many have you NOT seen in a film?
2- Of those beautiful ladies, how many could you NOT identify if their names weren't shown?
My guess is that you've seen or could identify at least 90%.

http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/Q5XetQeFu-0%26autoplay=1
15
Big Blue Huddle / Calling fellow statheads
« on: March 06, 2013, 11:45:17 AM »
Football Outsiders has some amazing new statistics to devour. Here is the background page. After that, just go to the stats and have at it. Even Chris may like these.
http://www.footballoutsiders.com/info/methods
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