Big Blue Huddle

Sam, you just made my day. I'm in tears laughing. 

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

He replied, "Because that's a microwave."

I think the title of the post says it all, "To All Members." It doesn't say, "To All Posters."

As American Express likes to say, membership has its privleges, but it also has responsibilities for appropriate conduct and decorum. I still stop by other boards regularly but rarely post anymore. The responses aren't as knowledgable and respectful as they are here. They are often ill-informed but more importantly they can be condescending, rude, or worse on those boards.

I've had several instances here where after much heated debate in a thread, a fellow poster and I started to get a little rough with each other. In every case we took it off the board and discussed our conduct in personal messages, often trading apologies, and left the discussion with a good ending - even if we still disagreed. That level of class and tolerance just doesn't exist anywhere else. This board is one-of-a-kind, and it is the Members of it (with the help of an appropriate level of moderation from those running the Board) that make it so.

That's pretty funny and extremely well done. 

A gynecologist had become so fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out.  Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time for
the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
 
When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.  Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."
 
The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark.  "You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." This equaled an A.

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career.

Mitch
October 8, 1962
Pelham, AL (near Birmingham) Transplanted from Manalapan, NJ

Is this anything other than terminology to distinguish between 3 wide outs, or is there specific patterns/responsibilities for each?

Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed
the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the
truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential down pour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on
the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the
day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 20 yrs replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is
out fishing in that crap?'

I still don't know to this day if she was joking, but I have stopped
fishing!!

Fred was  in trouble.  He forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife was really angry.  She told him 'Tomorrow morning, I expect
to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6
seconds, AND IT BETTER BE  THERE!!'
The next morning Fred got up early and left for work.
When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and
sure enough, there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of
the driveway.
Confused, the wife ran out to the driveway.
She opened it and found a brand-new bathroom scale.
Fred has been missing since Friday.  Please pray for him.

I'm a Democrat but I have a sense of humor too. Some of this is ridiculous but some is pretty funny too:


2008 Democrat National Convention

Schedule of Events

7:00 pm   OPENING FLAG BURNING

7:15 pm   PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE U.N.

7:20 pm   Ted Kennedy  PROPOSES A TOAST

7:25 pm   NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP - Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton

7:45 pm   CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING - Darryl Hannah

7:55 pm   Ted Kennedy  PROPOSES A TOAST

8:00 pm   HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET -  Al Gore

8:15 pm   GAY WEDDING PLANNING -   Rosie O'Donnell

8:35 pm   Ted Kennedy  PROPOSES A TOAST

8:40 pm   OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS - John Kerry

9.00 pm   MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM AND HIS SONS - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 pm    ANSWERING MACHINE ETIQUETTE - Alec Baldwin

11:00 pm   Ted Kennedy  PROPOSES A TOAST

11:05 pm   COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN KIDNEY TRANSPLANT FUND - Barbara Streisand

11:15 pm   FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM GUANTANAMO BAY - Sean Penn

11:30 pm   OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS - William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm    Ted Kennedy  PROPOSES A TOAST

11:50 pm   HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS - Howard Dean

12:15 am   TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am   Ted Kennedy  PROPOSES A TOAST

12:30 am   SATELLITE ADDRESS - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am   NOMINATION OF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA - Nancy Pelosi

1:00 am   Ted Kennedy  PROPOSES A TOAST

1:05 am   CORONATION OF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA

1:30 am   Ted Kennedy  PROPOSES A TOAST

1:35 am    Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hilary home

How To Install A Home Security System In The South =============

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size
   14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns
   and Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

IMO the most underrated player in pro football the last 5 years. All he ever does is make the play that beats you.

Is that John Fox standing on the sidelines and urging him on?

Thanks for posting. McConkey was one of my favorite Giants, and Phil Simms comments were priceless.

That had to be a fun team to play for, in part because of the light hearted yet constant abuse Parcells gave almost everyone. I think it was Twain who said, "there exists an irreverance between male freinds that has never been adequately explained." Those punishing verbal blows delivered with a smile and received in kind.

Recently moved to Pelham, AL