Big Blue Huddle

Man's Best Friend




A dog is truly a man's best friend.

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. 

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.

When you open the trunk,,,,, who is really happy to see you!

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

Yes,' I sighed. 'She was my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she has not been sober since.'   

'My God!' said my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
   
Now, my friends you can see, there really are two ways to look at everything.

The Art of Cropping



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THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2007:
Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
Imagine that!  Found by who?

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Must not of wiped!!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works!!

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Brilliant Deduction!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge


New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas
in Spacecraft
Only after his peers referenced the precednet setting case of "who ever smelt it delt it"

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
One way for the Administration to cut those negitive educational numbers by 50%

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
/???

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

one partially obstructed ....?   
                                               What?????

pole.....?
                   What??????

I am confused by your comments
I can only see one thing.  I must stay focused.........safety first.

Traffic Question


Most men will get this right!





Q: You are driving along a narrow two lane road with a NO PASSING sign posted,
and come upon a bicycle rider.
Do you follow this slow-moving bicycle rider for the next 2 miles,
or do you break the law and pass?





Which is the correct choice?







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A: Why take unnecessary risks...


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Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."
The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed and I couldn't remember whether I was going to sleep or had just woken up!

The third lady smiles smugly, "Well, my memory is just as good as it's always been, knock on wood," she says as she raps on the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"

       
      Subject: Vets School

       First-year students at Auburn University 's Vet School were receiving their
       first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the
       surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

       The professor started the class by telling them, "In Vet Medicine it is
       necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that
       you
       not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.

       For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in
       the
       butt of the dead cow, withdrew it, and stuck it in his mouth.

       "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students
       freaked
       out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a
       finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on
       it."

       When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them "The
       second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger
       and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

         -- "Life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid." - John Wayne

Quote from: spider68 on November 17, 2007, 02:08:54 PM
That game always stands out to me as a testament to the genius of Bill Bellichek.

The defensive gameplan.... was masterful.

Without a doubt, spider.

I will be the first one to admit my memory might not be there, but I seem to recall the giants controlled the clock and designed the D to take away the passing lanes forcing the bills to beat them on the ground, is that correct?  If so then they controlled the clock as stated earlier and the bills were left without enough clock to match the score.  Perfectly implemented game plan. 
If my memory/assumptions listed above are correct I would say the giants beat the bills with a full and complete effort from the players and coaches. 

 A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice - her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces.
They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head.

The wife asked the man, "Do you live here?"

"No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there, freeing me from that little bottle. I am so grateful!" he answered.

The husband asked, "Are you a genie?"

"Oh, why, yes I am. In fact, I am so grateful I will grant you two wishes, and the third I will keep for myself," the man replied.

The husband and wife agreed on two wishes - one was for a scratch handicap for the husband, to which the wife readily agreed. The other was for an income of $1,000,000 per year forever.

The genie nodded his head and said, "Done!"

The genie now said, "For my wish, I would like to have my way with your wife. I have not been with a woman for many years, and after all, I made you a scratch golfer and a millionaire."

The husband and wife agreed.

After the genie and wife were finished, the genie asked the wife, "How long have you been married?"

To which she responded, "Three years."

The genie then asked, "How old is your husband?"

To which she replied, "31 years old."

The genie then asked, "And how long has he believed in this genie crap?"

HER DIARY:

Tonight:  I thought my husband was acting weird.  We had made plans to
meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day
long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but
he made no comment on it.  Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested
that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk.  He agreed, but he didn't
say much. I asked him what was wrong; he said, "Nothing."  I asked him
if it was my fault that he was upset.  He said he wasn't upset, that it had
nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.  On the way home, I
told him that I loved him.  He smiled slightly, and kept driving.  I
can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you,
too."  When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if
he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and
watched TV.  He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with
silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later,
he came to bed.  To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made
love.  But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were
somewhere else.  He fell asleep - I cried.  I don't know what to do.  I'm
almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. 

My life is a disaster.


HIS DIARY:

Missed a big deer today, but at least I got laid.

 
Maybe It will make you smile or even better laugh.


A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later
a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
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You got Male!

MG,
your math is just fine I was born in 1904 moved from Ridgewood at 18 in 1922, I am 103 yrs old.   With a 3yr old too,  not bad for an old timer


Just kidding, made the change to add clarity

1)  What part of the Country do you live in?
Columbia County, Wisconsin   
Born in Ridgewood, NJ lived throughout Jersey and then in Bucks County, PA until my early 20's

2)  How long have you been a Giants fan?
Family has had tickets since 78, I do not remember it any other way

3)  What do you do for a living?
     Soil Scientist by training, in the past and maybe in the future
     Although I am currently working as a watershed planner and lake planner due to the  family friendly hours (very little evenings and weekends)

4) Anything else you would like to mention about yourself?
    Husband and father (7yrs and 3yrs respectfully)
    36yrs old
    Enjoy community service (work at homeless shelter, Big Brother, volunteer as a             consultant/adviser to local government, serve on other 501C3 Boards)
In my free time I love to hunt and fish