Big Blue Huddle

Great read, thanks for posting it.

When will George Young get has due by the Canton voters?

"Been a devout Giants Fan since the days of Sam Huff and Jim Brown"

Another welcome Cal-G-meister.  We must be about the same age since I too have been a devout fan since Sam Huff (the first LB who thrilled me), Jim Brown (the greatest football player I ever saw play) and Frank Gifford (my favorite boyhood Fifties Giant player).

Hope to hear more from you.

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.


(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: 'I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,'
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest ..
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'Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.'
--Mariah Carey
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'Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.'
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
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'I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.'
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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'Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.'
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC
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'That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it.'
--A congressional candidate in Texas
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'Half this game is ninety percent mental.'
--Philadel phia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
--Al Gore, Vice President
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'I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix '
-- Dan Quayle while campaigning
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'We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?'
--Lee Iacocca
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'The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.'
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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'We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.'
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor .
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'Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.'
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
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'Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas.'
--Keppel Enderbery
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'If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.'
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Feeling smarter yet?

Never choke in a restaurant in the South...

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'HindLick Maneuver', but I ain't never seed nobody do it!"

"Another junior entry LeSean McCoy (Pittsburgh) is a TD scoring machine capable of making big plays on the ground or through the air. At 5

Thank you Ceri for the tutorial. Precise and on the mark. Will help out someone like me on draft day who no longer follows collegiate football as I did in my earlier days.

The  Global Facts ... At Any Given  Moment:

FACT:  79,000,000 people are engaged in sex right  now.

FACT:  58,000,000 are kissing.

FACT:  37,000,000 are relaxing after having  sex.

FACT:  1 old timer is reading emails.

You  hang in there sunshine.......   

Why we are in trouble in America !!!
 

A DC  airport ticket agent offers some  examples:
 

   1.  I had a New  Hampshire Congresswoman ask for  an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being  near the window. (On  an airplane!)   

2. I got a  call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown.   While I started to explain the length of the flight and the  passport information, she interrupted me with,  ''I'm not trying  to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts "Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained,   

''Cape Cod is in  Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa '
Her response  is unprintable. 

   3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida  package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando  . 
He said  he was expecting an ocean-view  room
I tried to  explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the  state. He replied, 'Don't  lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin  state!''  (OMG)   

4. I got  a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked,  ''Is it  possible to see England from Canada  ?''    I said, ''No.'' She said,  ''But they  look so close on the map. (OMG,  again!)   

5. An  aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas    When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he  had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas .  When I asked him why he  wanted to rent a car, he said,  ''I  heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between  gates to save time.''  (Aghhhh)     

6. An Illinois  Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible  that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m.,  and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that   Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and  she bought that. 

7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ''Do  airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose  luggage belongs to whom?'' I said,  'No, why  do you ask?'
She  replied, ''Well, when I  checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said  (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very  rude!'' After  putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked into it (I was dying  laughing), I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal),  and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her  luggage.

8. A Senator's  aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii .  After going over all the  cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to  Hawaii ?''   

9. I just got  off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked,  "How do I know  which plane to get on?'' I asked him  what exactly he meant, to which he replied,  ''I was told my  flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on  them.''   

10. A lady  Senator called and said, ''I need to fly to   Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer  planes?''    I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane. She  said,  '' Yeah, whatever, smarty!''   

11. A  senior Senator called and had a question about the documents  he needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion  about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa.  ' Oh, no I don't.  I've been to China many times and never had to have one of  those.'' I double  checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he  said, ''Look, I' ve been  to China four times and every time they have accepted my American  Express! ''

12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make  reservations, ''I want to go  from Chicago to Rhino, New  York .'' I was at a  loss for words.  Finally, I said,  ''Are  you sure that's the name of the  town?''  ''Yes, what  flights do you have?'' replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with,  ''I'm  sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a  Rhino anywhere.' ''The lady retorted, ''Oh, don't be  silly! Everyone knows where it is.  Check your  map!''

So I scoured a  map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't  mean Buffalo , do you?'' The  reply:

''Whatever! I knew  it was a big animal"


Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in! 

Were you named after the Bronx's "original" Scooter, #10 - Phil Rizzuto?

Welcome aboard.

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says "Ah .. I see you regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway.. You're going to beokay, you'll walk again and everything, but .... something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it".

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance
compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing
is that it isn't cheap. It is $1000 an inch.

The man perks up at this. "So", the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how
many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your
wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before and you go for the
nine-inch, your wife might be a bit put off. But if you had a nine-inch
before and you go for the five-inch, she might be disappointed. So it's an
important decision that you and your wife should probably talk over. The man agrees to talk to his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day and says "So, have you spoken to your
wife?"

"I have" says the man.

"And she has helped you in making the decision?"

"Yes she has", the man says.

"And what is it ?" the doctor asked.

"We're getting new granite counter tops"!

Now I don't care who you are, this is funny!


There were five houses of religion in a small Texas town:
The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church , the Catholic Church and the Jewish Synagogue.

Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels.  After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will..

In The Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas , Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called a circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.        

Sam (did that surprise anyone?)

June 13

Greensboro, NC (Started off in Brooklyn, Queens and LI, than joined the service and started living around the world. Somehow ended up in the Piedmont area of NC since July '87).

Welcome Jersee.

I to lived in Levittown and went to Island Trees High School (graduating class of 1960, my wife was in the graduating class of 1961). We lived on Bloomingdale Rd, not too far from the East Village Green.

Looking forward towards your posts.

From a very long time Giant fan and an Air Force retiree, welcome to our Giant board Max.

Yes, a great statement win in an old fashion Steeler vs. Giants slugfest.
Now we are as ready as we can be for the rest of the schedule.