Big Blue Huddle

Quote from: Ed Vette on January 15, 2022, 06:34:00 PM
The propensity to become problematic.

Ed: English is my second language.  Bob

We appreciate all of you who contribute to the BBH in a positive and mutually respectful manner.

Repeated positions, threads and comments that carry an agenda and dominate this group are not productive and not welcome.

Snarky remarks aimed at fellow members (and repeated back and forth arguments in an attempt to prove someone wrong) often result in an overall nasty interaction.

As such, they are no longer welcome here at the BBH.  Please keep these points in mind when submitting your posts. 

Thank you.

Bob

Well said bob!

QuoteDEBATE
Competitive – focus on succeeding and winning, proving others' logic "wrong"
Focus on "right" and "wrong" through evidence
Looking for weaknesses, searching for flaws in others' logic – critique their position
Listening is used to form counterarguments
Focus on conflict and difference as an advantage
Disregard relationships
Using silence to gain an advantage

DISCUSSION
Conceptual and/or conversational – present ideas, often in "clean" or "sophisticated" ways
Aim to share information – seeking to staying "neutral" in conclusions
Seek answers and solutions
Give answers, often those in accordance with academic standards – "What do our readings say?"
Listening is used to find places of disagreement or to gather rational pieces of argument
Avoid areas of strong conflict and difference
Retain relationships
Avoid silence

DIALOGUE
Collaborative, towards a sense of community understanding
Aim to re-evaluate and acknowledge assumptions and biases
Bring out areas of ambivalence
Look for shared meaning
Discover collective meaning; re-examine and destabilized long-held ideas
Listening without judgement and with a view to understand
Building relationships
Honor silence

Source: https://utlc.uncg.edu/teaching/dialoguediscussiondebate/

We all have times when we see something online that we feel strongly about. When you care a lot about something it can be hard to know how to talk to someone about it without things getting overly heated. To help, we've put together our top four tips on how to disagree with someone respectfully online:

1. STAY CALM
Take a deep breath, and give yourself a moment before you choose to reply. If you write up a reply, consider taking a few minutes to get up and do something else before you send it – sometimes in the heat of the moment we can say things that we later regret. Even if the other person is getting heated or angry in their responses, you don't have to respond the same way. It's not always easy, but it's a good idea to aim to be the mature one who manages the conversation to stop it getting out of hand.

2. DON'T GET PERSONAL
Calling someone names or putting them down never helps to make a situation better. Instead of saying "That's a stupid idea" you could try saying "I don't agree and this is why...". Sometimes just a simple change in how something is phrased can make a big difference in the way the conversation goes. Although it's hard, it's best to try and not focus on the person who you disagree with and instead focus on the idea or concept they've shared and why you don't agree with it.

3. USE "I" STATEMENTS
Rather than focusing on the "you" (which can be interpreted as being argumentative) sometimes it's safer to focus on yourself and how a comment has made you feel or what you might think about it. Instead of "You shouldn't have said that" you could try "That comment made me feel upset/disappointed because...".

4. LISTEN TO THEIR POINT OF VIEW
When you're disagreeing with someone online, take the time to acknowledge that you have read and tried to understand their point of view. Being a good listener is a way to show that you respect and understand another person's perspective. If you're being respectful to someone else, then it means they are more likely to treat you the same way – even if you both disagree on something.

5. IF THINGS GO TOO FAR
If you feel like an argument has gone too far and the other person is being abusive or harassing you, it's important to know your options for ending the conversation and keeping yourself safe. If it's possible to do so you could let them know that you're not keen to continue the conversation any longer. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe you should consider reporting the person's comments to the platform (e.g. Instagram or Facebook) as well as muting or blocking the person

https://netsafe.org.nz/disagreeing-respectfully/