News:

Moderation Team: Vette, babywhales, Bob In PA, gregf, bighitterdalama, beaugestus, T200

Owner: MightyGiants

Link To Live Chat

Mastodon

Main Menu

Just a joke

Started by babywhales, November 02, 2007, 11:44:05 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 8 Guests are viewing this topic.

MightyGiants

SMART, TOUGH, DEPENDABLE

LennG


O would say pretty true
I HATE TO INCLUDE THE WORD NASTY< BUT THAT IS PART OF BEING A WINNING FOOTBALL TEAM.

Charlie Weiss

Bob In PA

#707
To see this spoof (which I really like) you must do this: (1) press the "Quote" button (sometimes called "Insert Quote") as though you want to reply to my message with a copy of my post included; (2) you will now see the actual link for the Instagram containing the spoof; (3) copy the link into the search area of your browser and go to that link (4) you will now see the link.  I don't know how to do it the easy way, but my instructions will work.  Bob

https://www.instagram.com/p/CCq7adjHyFT/?igshid=11qq9vutscp5g
If Jeff Hostetler could do it, Daniel Jones can do it !!!

Ed Vette

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her tiny breasts. Dr. Smith advised her, "Every day after your shower rub your chest and say, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies."
She did this faithfully for several months and it worked! She grew terrific D-cup boobs! One morning she was running late, got on the bus and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.
Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus
closed her eyes and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies."
A guy sitting nearby looked at her, "By any chance, are you a patient of Dr. Smith's?"
"Why, yes I am... How did you know?"
He leaned closer, winked and whispered, "Hickory dickory dock..."
"There is a greater purpose...that purpose is team. Winning, losing, playing hard, playing well, doing it for each other, winning the right way, winning the right way is a very important thing to me... Championships are won by teams who love one another, who respect one another, and play for and support one another."
~ Coach Tom Coughlin

LennG

I HATE TO INCLUDE THE WORD NASTY< BUT THAT IS PART OF BEING A WINNING FOOTBALL TEAM.

Charlie Weiss

Jolly Blue Giant

The joke I told yesterday was so funny that,
apparently, HR wants to hear it tomorrow  :laugh:

Jolly Blue Giant

The joke I told yesterday was so funny that,
apparently, HR wants to hear it tomorrow  :laugh:

uconnjack8

Monica Lewinsky has a pretty good sense of humor.

LennG

0
This was a genuine ad from 1964, when WD-40 was first released
I HATE TO INCLUDE THE WORD NASTY< BUT THAT IS PART OF BEING A WINNING FOOTBALL TEAM.

Charlie Weiss

LennG

I HATE TO INCLUDE THE WORD NASTY< BUT THAT IS PART OF BEING A WINNING FOOTBALL TEAM.

Charlie Weiss

Jolly Blue Giant

The joke I told yesterday was so funny that,
apparently, HR wants to hear it tomorrow  :laugh:

LennG

Heaven Or Hell
While walking down the street one day President Trump was tragically hit by a car and died.
His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St... Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says Trump.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really ? I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says Trump.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.
In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.
Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are all having such a good time that before Trump realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit Heaven."
So, 24 hours passed with Trump joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns."Well, then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."
Trump reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground.
The Devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.
"I don't understand," stammers Trump. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened ?"
The Devil smiles at him and says,
"Yesterday we were campaigning. Today, you voted !"
I HATE TO INCLUDE THE WORD NASTY< BUT THAT IS PART OF BEING A WINNING FOOTBALL TEAM.

Charlie Weiss

Jolly Blue Giant

The joke I told yesterday was so funny that,
apparently, HR wants to hear it tomorrow  :laugh:

Jim143

Quote from: Jolly Blue Giant on July 26, 2020, 12:25:10 PM


In this case, the electrician does not have OCD (which is a misnomer - a true obsessive compulsive person would never say "OCD". . .they couldn't.  It would be "CDO")  :)

But, back to this picture - being OCD, the blue wires are not together and the would drive me up a wall.  Same with some of the yellow, but they don't stand out as much as the sole blue wire off to it's self.
"I'm just a nobody looking to stand in GOD's shadow" and try to live up to what is right and moral, I'm not Left or Right or any position, I believe in in the power of the holy spirit and prayer. I am not an angel, however I try to be as true to the rules of GOD and his son."

Sem