Big Blue Huddle

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, "Well, Sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "OK. Go ahead."

Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell that Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he's pretty much urinated all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head into his hands.

"Are you OK?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."

Thanks for those great reviews, Len! I have a few of them on my list to watch as well.

Quote from: Jim143 on February 04, 2020, 07:35:49 AM
Me too.  I even go to extremes.  Some of my texts are like War and Peace.  It probably would have been faster and easier to just call the person, but I so hate talking on the phone.

Good thing text messages are free now! 

Quote from: MightyGiants on February 03, 2020, 10:57:36 AM
To be fair, acronyms make sense when you are texting

For brevity's sake, I get it. I'm old school though... I spell everything out. I'm a Grammar Grump, but just not on JimV's level 

Quote from: eilasidogruoy on February 02, 2020, 03:51:01 PM
Got a text reply from someone the other day that said IDK. What

Quote from: Jolly Blue Giant on January 31, 2020, 11:08:42 AM
Bateman is an interesting character that I've learned to appreciate. The first time I saw him was in "Fargo" (the TV Series) - the first season. He was fantastic in Fargo and he's great in "Ozark". I laughed my ass off in "Ozark" when his wife asked him how he can sleep at night and he responds that he gets a warm cozy feeling recalling the thud sound of her lover being thrown off a 14 story building and landing near him. She slaps him of course, but what a great response, LMAO 

That was a great line! I've always been a fan of his. I just finished Season 1 and will start Season 2 on Monday morning when I hit the treadmill.

Quote from: eilasidogruoy on January 13, 2020, 03:42:19 PM
I

The lack of respect with regards to other fans' viewpoints and perspectives is baffling to me.

CAGiantFan is now COGiantFan and T200 is April 14th 

Oh wow... so sad to hear that. Please pass on my condolences to Burt's family. Hope the family is doing well in his absence.

Hi Patti,

Sullivan has called the last six games. What's your assessment of his play calling and how do you compare him to McAdoo?

1st choice: Sean Payton
Sean's been around the block and is a no-nonsense coach. He can get the most out of this offense and is familiar with NY Giants football. If he can land a solid defensive coordinator, we should be good.

2nd choice: Josh McDaniels
He's had his chance in Denver and it didn't fare very well. I believe he's learned a lot from Little Bill from their years together and there doesn't seem to be any animosity as he's on his second stint under BB in NE. Although he has no ties to the Giants, Bill does. And bringing a little bit of the Patriots way to NY isn't a bad thing from my perspective. I would think he's learned from his Denver days and would presumably do things differently if he had another chance at HC.

I didn't pick one of the choices because it doesn't line up with my thought, which is this: for me, TC's wagon is hitched to Eli. I don't want Eli to have to go through a head coaching and philosophy change, another offensive coordinator and system during his last few good years. I figure Eli's got a solid 4-5 prime years left in this system. He's getting the ball out quicker and taking less hits, prolonging his health. McAdoo's system is good for Eli even though many fans here don't like the play calling.

I think TC can still be effective with more talent defensively. The offense isn't far off. Offensive line health has been the biggest factor. Defense is sorely lacking. It'll probably take 2-3 years to get it where it needs to be. I still feel defense wins championships but with this offense, we can run up the score as well. TC's made some questionable calls that, if they had worked out, would not be discussed past that particular game. I don't think he should be let go or forced to retire but I also understand it's a results-oriented business. Superbowl victories do indeed have a shelf life. 2011-2012 is getting smaller and smaller in the rear view mirror.

Quote from: Vette on December 21, 2015, 09:41:42 PM
The last two games Jennings got the majority of carries and the running game improved. What was the reason or catalyst in the change?

Rhythm

I think he deserves more time and a healthier group than he's had this year. If the offensive line can stay healthy for 19 games next year, the results will be undeniable. The dial-a-running-back needs to be dialed back. Pick one primary, have a change-up (Vereen) and keep one for backup. Cruz comes back to take the slot and relieves some pressure on OBJ.