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Who wrote this?

Started by Jolly Blue Giant, January 09, 2024, 12:33:18 PM

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Jolly Blue Giant

A guy wrote this shortly before his death

A few clues: he was a "Beatnik", predating "hippies" and "yuppies". He was scorned, praised, arrested and jailed, beloved, hated, had his own style, rocked the political boat, and was one of a kind

"I'm a modern man. A man for the millennium. Digital and smoke-free. A diversified, multicultural, post-modern deconstructionist. Politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I've been up-linked and downloaded. I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing. I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high-tech low life. A cutting edge, state of the art, bi-coastal multitasker, and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

I'm new wave, but I'm old school. And my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer. Voice-activated and biodegradable. I interface from a database, my database is in cyberspace. So I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive and from time to time, I'm radioactive.

Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope. I'm on point, on task, on message and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed. I got no urge to binge and purge. I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top but under the radar. A high concept, low profile, medium range ballistic missionary. A streetwise smart bomb. A top gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties. I tell power lies. I take power naps. I run victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing big foot, slam-dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial.

I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can't shut me up. You can't dumb me down. Because I'm tireless and I'm wireless. I'm a alpha male on beta blockers.

I'm an overachiever. Laid back but fashion forward. Up front, down home, low rent, high maintenance. Super size, long-lasting, high definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built to last. I'm a hands-on, footloose, knee-jerk head case. Prematurely post-traumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail.

But I'm feeling. I'm caring. I'm healing. I'm sharing. A supportive, bonding, nurturing primary caregiver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond. And my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail. I eat junk food. I buy junk bonds. I watch trash sports. I'm gender-specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the F word in my emails. And the software in my hard drive is hardcore, no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a mini mall. I bought a minivan at a megastore. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm toll-free, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes. A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. I've been prewashed, precooked, preheated, prescreened, preapproved, prepackaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed and I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal. Lean and mean. Cocked, locked and ready to rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow. I go with the flow. I ride with the tide. I got glide in my stride. Driving and moving. Sailing and spinning. Jiving and grooving. Wailing and winning. I don't snooze, so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty. And lunchtime is crunch time. I'm hanging in. There ain't no doubt. And I'm hanging tough. Over and out."
The joke I told yesterday was so funny that,
apparently, HR wants to hear it tomorrow  :laugh:

Jolly Blue Giant

The joke I told yesterday was so funny that,
apparently, HR wants to hear it tomorrow  :laugh:

Bob In PA

If Jeff Hostetler could do it, Daniel Jones can do it !!!

Jolly Blue Giant

Quote from: Bob In PA on January 09, 2024, 02:43:33 PMLenny Bruce?

Close, but no cigar - nice try  :ok:

Most people will be shocked and know that they knew it all along. I'll add another clue in a couple of hours if no one gets it
The joke I told yesterday was so funny that,
apparently, HR wants to hear it tomorrow  :laugh:

LennG


That was my first thought, Lenny Bruce. Let me ponder on this a bit more.
I HATE TO INCLUDE THE WORD NASTY< BUT THAT IS PART OF BEING A WINNING FOOTBALL TEAM.

Charlie Weiss

LennG


 I thought on it and the next name that comes to mind is George Carlin.
I HATE TO INCLUDE THE WORD NASTY< BUT THAT IS PART OF BEING A WINNING FOOTBALL TEAM.

Charlie Weiss

Jolly Blue Giant

#6
Quote from: LennG on January 09, 2024, 05:20:03 PMI thought on it and the next name that comes to mind is George Carlin.

Ding, ding, ding





"The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it." George Carlin

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" Carlin

"I have a lot of ideas...trouble is, most of them suck" Carlin

"Don't just teach your children to read. Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything." Carlin

"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently, I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions." Carlin

"Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body." Carlin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nyvxt1svxso
The joke I told yesterday was so funny that,
apparently, HR wants to hear it tomorrow  :laugh: