NFT: 5 Posters suspended for 24 hours

[Ed Vette]

This will serve as a final warning for these folks and their inappropriate, inflammatory, confrontational and baiting tactics. There were dozens of deleted posts and a closed topic. We have no problem with less content and less members to improve the optics and civil discourse of the forum.

[MightyGiants]

We all have times when we see something online that we feel strongly about. When you care a lot about something it can be hard to know how to talk to someone about it without things getting overly heated. To help, we've put together our top four tips on how to disagree with someone respectfully online:

1. STAY CALM
Take a deep breath, and give yourself a moment before you choose to reply. If you write up a reply, consider taking a few minutes to get up and do something else before you send it – sometimes in the heat of the moment we can say things that we later regret. Even if the other person is getting heated or angry in their responses, you don't have to respond the same way. It's not always easy, but it's a good idea to aim to be the mature one who manages the conversation to stop it getting out of hand.

2. DON'T GET PERSONAL
Calling someone names or putting them down never helps to make a situation better. Instead of saying "That's a stupid idea" you could try saying "I don't agree and this is why...". Sometimes just a simple change in how something is phrased can make a big difference in the way the conversation goes. Although it's hard, it's best to try and not focus on the person who you disagree with and instead focus on the idea or concept they've shared and why you don't agree with it.

3. USE "I" STATEMENTS
Rather than focusing on the "you" (which can be interpreted as being argumentative) sometimes it's safer to focus on yourself and how a comment has made you feel or what you might think about it. Instead of "You shouldn't have said that" you could try "That comment made me feel upset/disappointed because...".

4. LISTEN TO THEIR POINT OF VIEW
When you're disagreeing with someone online, take the time to acknowledge that you have read and tried to understand their point of view. Being a good listener is a way to show that you respect and understand another person's perspective. If you're being respectful to someone else, then it means they are more likely to treat you the same way – even if you both disagree on something.

https://netsafe.org.nz/disagreeing-respectfully/