Sensitive Topic: Our libido in old age

[squibber]

I'll be 70 soon and to tell you the truth, if someone told me I will no longer have sex for the rest of my life, it wouldn't bother me.  It's been a long time since I had "spring fever".

Whenever my wife says let's have a romantic evening, I get a little anxious because it's hard to get myself in the mood and I need to take that pill to get there.

Am I the exception or do a lot of you feel the same way?  You can PM me if you prefer not to share your story.

[LennG]

PK Squib, since no one else wants to reply, I'll try.

I may have a lot of snow on the roof, but there is still a very active furnace inside. I won't go into details, but recently, I was having bladder problems and the doctor wanted me to wear a catheter. If I went that way, it was basically no more sex and for me that was unacceptable, so I went for drugs to cure the problem. So far so good.

Years ago, I think the only thing that I would rather do than have sex was watch a football game. Today, sex just isn't that high on the list as we age, the libido changes. A good movie instead of sex wouldn't bother me in the least. That said, I would miss it tremendously if I had to stop.

Add to that I ahve really hot wife.                      

[Jolly Blue Giant]

I'm 70 and my libido is still strong. Nothing like it was when I was 16 yrs old (or even in my 40's), but can go several times a week if the opportunity is there (a rarity for us single men). What I have discovered is that turning 70 is like a car with 215,000 miles. Muffler is louder than it should be, steering isn't as crisp as it used to be, and it's not nearly as fast as the day you took it to the track...in fact, it might die if you floor it expecting to be set back in your seat

For me: biggest thing I notice is my balance is nothing like it used to be. Aches and pains become a way of life...as does requiring hitting the head in the middle of the night, sometimes more than once. Eyes don't focus as well, and for me...I get "burning eye syndrome" if I read a book more than a half hour or so. I would only run if it was a matter of life and death...a bear after me, an angry dog wants a bite of me, or getting out of the way of a careening car

There is a sign on a cemetery entrance that always puts a smile on my face. It says, "Never complain about the aches and pains or the deteriorating body functions that comes with old age. This place is filled with people who never got the chance to experience those things."

Getting old sucks, but the alternative is worse. I actually get joy out of watching younger people whose lives are still ahead of them and realizing they are the future in the circle of life. Love every minute of it...take a deep breath outside in the morning, smell the flowers or newly cut grass, listen to the birds, enjoy the fall colors and the crowds cheering at a kids' soccer or baseball game. For the first time in most people's lives, it is a chance to read books that you've put off for years. Go to church, sing the hymns with gusto, laugh, cry, and bring joy to others. It's our last hurrah

[Ed Vette]

I'll be 70 soon and to tell you the truth, if someone told me I will no longer have sex for the rest of my life, it wouldn't bother me.  It's been a long time since I had "spring fever".

Whenever my wife says let's have a romantic evening, I get a little anxious because it's hard to get myself in the mood and I need to take that pill to get there.

Am I the exception or do a lot of you feel the same way?  You can PM me if you prefer not to share your story.

Is it you or your declined passion for your wife and boredom?

[LennG]

I'm 70 and my libido is still strong. Nothing like it was when I was 16 yrs old (or even in my 40's), but can go several times a week if the opportunity is there (a rarity for us single men). What I have discovered is that turning 70 is like a car with 215,000 miles. Muffler is louder than it should be, steering isn't as crisp as it used to be, and it's not nearly as fast as the day you took it to the track...in fact, it might die if you floor it expecting to be set back in your seat

For me: biggest thing I notice is my balance is nothing like it used to be. Aches and pains become a way of life...as does requiring hitting the head in the middle of the night, sometimes more than once. Eyes don't focus as well, and for me...I get "burning eye syndrome" if I read a book more than a half hour or so. I would only run if it was a matter of life and death...a bear after me, an angry dog wants a bite of me, or getting out of the way of a careening car

There is a sign on a cemetery entrance that always puts a smile on my face. It says, "Never complain about the aches and pains or the deteriorating body functions that comes with old age. This place is filled with people who never got the chance to experience those things."

Getting old sucks, but the alternative is worse. I actually get joy out of watching younger people whose lives are still ahead of them and realizing they are the future in the circle of life. Love every minute of it...take a deep breath outside in the morning, smell the flowers or newly cut grass, listen to the birds, enjoy the fall colors and the crowds cheering at a kids' soccer or baseball game. For the first time in most people's lives, it is a chance to read books that you've put off for years. Go to church, sing the hymns with gusto, laugh, cry, and bring joy to others. It's our last hurrah

Very nicely said.  I am 77 but my mind still tells me I'm 40 something. The problem is the body isn't. I have learned to appreciate the same things in life now. I love the peace and quiet of the night, listening to the crickets chirping away. I have always enjoyed a good movie, but now when I find one I really like (which is getting harder) I relish it. So I tend to rewatch many of the older movies that I know I will still enjoy, some I haven't seen in well over 30 years.
I have been retired for some 15 years now, and to those who say they would have nothing to do, that's fine, but I enjoy doing what I want to do, when I want to do it--today, tomorrow, or next week.  We were talking about sex a while ago, for us, it's usually a morning thing. We have no rush to get up and we can just do what we feel is right for the moment. The night-time thing sort of went out years ago, when I fall asleep before the news comes on.   

The good life.         

[squibber]

Is it you or your declined passion for your wife and boredom?

Ed, Your question struck a chord. I think my passion for my wife declined a lot. Whenever there is an attractive woman at the gym, I look over there several times so there must be some embers burning in the furnace.

I would never leave or cheat on my wife. She is a great wife and she told me numerous times that I am the love of her life. I passed up 3 or 4 opportunities to cheat on her with attractive women but I would never do that to my wife. I'll have to find that spark again.

I think boredom plays a role too. Smaller social circle in old age, no interest in golf, fishing, etc.. Less energy.

[squibber]

Great advice, Jolly Blue Giant.

[Ed Vette]

Ed, Your question struck a chord. I think my passion for my wife declined a lot. Whenever there is an attractive woman at the gym, I look over there several times so there must be some embers burning in the furnace.

I would never leave or cheat on my wife. She is a great wife and she told me numerous times that I am the love of her life. I passed up 3 or 4 opportunities to cheat on her with attractive women but I would never do that to my wife. I'll have to find that spark again.

I think boredom plays a role too. Smaller social circle in old age, no interest in golf, fishing, etc.. Less energy.

Living with someone all those years, the relationship transforms and evolves in many ways. Men weren't born to be monogamous just as most species in the animal kingdom. We have a society with rules that conform to religious beliefs. I believe in the future there will be a family dynamic to raise children but open to other relationships. As it is now, a marriage license is a deed to ownership of the other person, and tied into money and possessions. Even those who aren't married have a commitment set in place.

Have you spoken to your wife about what is weighing on you? I suspect not as it's too embarrassing to bring up with all the complications attached. Chances are, she is either comfortable with the status quo or she might have similar feelings. Perhaps a discussion might come up with some ideas. 

[squibber]

Ed, I did not speak to my wife about it. She is very sensitive. I'll think of something.

You have a future as a marriage counselor.

[LennG]

 On a more serious note, have you had your testosterone levels checked recently? As we age, these levels really tend to get to a point that may well effect any desire for sex. If you haven't done so, see a urologist and speak to a pro about it.

[squibber]

Thanks for sharing, guys. Glad to know your golden years are going well.

[squibber]

On a more serious note, have you had your testosterone levels checked recently? As we age, these levels really tend to get to a point that may well effect any desire for sex. If you haven't done so, see a urologist and speak to a pro about it.

I will do that, Lenn. Thanks.

[LennG]

 I am definitely not going to go into detail about our love life here, but over the years, and I'm sure I can say this about most men, we have certain things that usually 'turn us on', I know I had. But, in recent years, several of these 'turn-ons' really weren't much of a turn-on anymore. I did mention this to a doctor and he had my testosterone level checked and said it was on the low end which could explain some of the lost desire. He said I could opt for some medication to improve it, but I declined. I was still active so I just left it at that. 
It is just a thought, but stay away from all those quick-fix remedies that you see on TV or in ads to make you a sexual superman by taking those testosterone pills. See a doctor, have it checked and maybe that might be part of the reason.