1. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit at least one strip club.
2. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
3. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
4. All beds have special odd-shaped sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
5. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
6. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you through it.
7.The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
8. You rarely need to reload your gun, and if you do, there will always be more ammunition on you - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
9. You're very likely to survive any dire situation unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your wife or child back home.
10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
11. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince and squirm when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
12. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
13. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet or the cash in your pocket as you take out a bill at random and hand it to the driver. It will always be the exact fare.
14. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
15. When being chased always climb to the top of the highest building from whence there is no escape.
16. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon, and waffles for their family every morning even though their husbands and children never have time to eat it.
17. Cars that crash will most likely blow up and burst into flames.
18. The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective.
19. It is always possible to shoot door locks or padlocks off without the ricochet killing you or your companion
20. Any person waking from a nightmare will bolt upright in a sitting position and pant.
21. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
23. It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
24. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
25. A black guy will usually be the first to die.
26. Girlfriends tend to be 9
2. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
3. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
4. All beds have special odd-shaped sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
5. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
6. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you through it.
7.The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
8. You rarely need to reload your gun, and if you do, there will always be more ammunition on you - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
9. You're very likely to survive any dire situation unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your wife or child back home.
10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
11. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince and squirm when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
12. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
13. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet or the cash in your pocket as you take out a bill at random and hand it to the driver. It will always be the exact fare.
14. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
15. When being chased always climb to the top of the highest building from whence there is no escape.
16. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon, and waffles for their family every morning even though their husbands and children never have time to eat it.
17. Cars that crash will most likely blow up and burst into flames.
18. The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective.
19. It is always possible to shoot door locks or padlocks off without the ricochet killing you or your companion
20. Any person waking from a nightmare will bolt upright in a sitting position and pant.
21. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
23. It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
24. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
25. A black guy will usually be the first to die.
26. Girlfriends tend to be 9