Big Blue Huddle

This is a game played by two teams, one out, the other in. The one that's in, sends players out one at a time, to see if they can get in before they get out.  If they get out before they get in, they come in, but it doesn't count.  If they get in before they get out, it does count.


When the ones out get three outs from the ones in before they get in without being out, the team that's out comes in and the team in goes out to get those going in out before they get in without being out.




When both teams have been in and out nine times, the game is over.  The team with the most in without being out before coming in wins unless the ones in are equal.  In which case, the last ones in go out to get the ones in out before they get in without being out.



The game will end when each team has the same number of ins out but one team has more in without being out before coming in.




What could possibly be simpler?

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin , a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.
The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park
bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment.
He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black men in a predominately white, patriarchal society.
             
'In fact,' he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.'
After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said,
'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'
'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?' asked the couple.
'Because I'm the guy who painted it,' he replied. 'In fact, there are
no black men depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners.
The guy in the middle went home for lunch.

Now see, you are making two assumptions- my thing works and the little blue pill works.

How Old Men Like Len Can Succeed With Beautiful Young Women



Len met a girl in the park the other evening.

There was an instant spark between them and she immediately dropped to her knees
and lay on the grass at his feet.
As they lay making love, Len thought,
"These taser guns are well worth the money".

After learning of Buster Posey's probable season ending broken leg on a collision at home plate it got me thinking. I  know it is baseball protocol for the catcher to block home plate--- but why is this legal? You can't block a runner at any other base or it would be called interference.
But why is it not only legal but encouraged at home plate?
Umpire Len, Coach Retro, or anyone-- why?

The only cow in a small town in Tennessee stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found they could buy a cow in
Kentucky for $200.00.


They bought the cow from Kentucky and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were
pleased and very happy.
They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their
milk supply again.
They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow
would move away. No
matter what approach

the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and
he could not succeed in his quest.
The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what
to do. They told the Vet what was happening. "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from
the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs
off. An approach from the side and she walks away to the other side."
The Vet thinks about this for a
minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow in
Kentucky ?"
The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought
the cow.
"You are truly a wise Vet," they said.
"How did you know we got the cow in Kentucky ?
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Kentucky ."

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands

has opened in New York City ,

where a woman may go to choose

a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:



You may visit this store

ONLY ONCE! There are six

floors & the value of the

products increase as the

shopper ascends the flights.

The shopper may choose any

item from a particular floor, or

may choose to go up to the next

floor, but you cannot go back

down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:


Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:



Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. (scroll and keep reading!)

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex & have money & like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Bartolo's amazing comeback appears to be modern medicine enabled.
Should this be viewed in a similar light as PED's?
I don't know, but am now concerned that aging superstars might go the same route and produce records that are tainted.
In any event, a great article and food for thought.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/12/sports/baseball/disputed-treatment-was-used-in-bartolo-colons-comeback.html?_r=2&ref=sports

Ed,
Time for me to express my manlove for free agent tobe Barrett Ruud again? Or is he not a good fit since a Mike and I need to keep my emotions in check?
dasher

From today's NFP:

My Sunday Best: Value picks

Prince Amukamara, Giants

From today's NFP:

Things I Didn

For what it's worth- CBS Sports had him rated the number uno strong safety and a third round projection ( number 77).
http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/draft/players/1243712/tyler-sash

And the Cowboys take Jerry Jones.

An old golfer named Len comes in from a round of golf at a new course and heads into the grill room. As he passes through the swinging doors he sees a sign hanging over the bar:

COLD BEER: $2.00
HAMBURGER: $2.25
CHEESEBURGER: $2.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $3.50
HAND JOB: $50.00

Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the old golfer named Len walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers(Weeze and Whales). She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer.

"Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "May I help you?"

The old golfer leans over the bar and whispers, "I was wondering, young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs: "Yes Sir , I sure am."

The old golfer leans closer and into her left ear and says softly, "Well, wash your hands real fu**ing good because I want a cheeseburger."

Gruden analyzes the five QB's tonite. Should be interesting!
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/draft2011/news/story?id=6395844