Just a joke

[babywhales]

 

[drakew]

How do you make a handkerchief dance?

--Blow a little boogie into it...

[LennG]

A New Diagnostic Procedure

A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was
retiring.
The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds,
so the community could become used to a new doctor.
At the first house a woman complains, "I've been a little sick to my
stomach."
The older doctor says, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh
fruit.  Cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the
trick?"
As they left, the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman?
How'd you come to the diagnosis so quickly?"
"I didn't have to.  You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in
there?  When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels
in the trash.  That was probably what was making her sick."
The younger doctor said, "Pretty clever.  If you don't mind, I think I'll
try that at the next house."
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a
younger woman.
She said that she just didn't have the energy she once did and said, "I'm
feeling terribly run down lately."
"You've probably been doing too much for the Church," the younger doctor
told her.  "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."
As they left, the elder doctor said, "I know that woman well.  Your
diagnosis is most certainly correct; she's very active in the church, but
how did you arrive at it?"
"I did what you did at the last house.  I dropped my stethoscope and, when I
bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the pastor under the bed."

[weeze]

What did the painter say to the wall?








I'll meet ya at the corner!
HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR....I kill me!

[weeze]

Do you know why Billie Jean King retired from tennis?







She had licked them all!
another har har har har har har hahahahahahaha! Im too funny!

[Sem]

Late in the night he regained consciousness

[Sem]

 

[Sem]

32 hilarious kids' test answers.

http://justsomething.co/32-hilarious-kids-test-answers/

[bamagiantfan]

This made the rounds on the internet a few years ago but it still brings me to tears.

The Emperor's Phone Call | Robot Chicken | Adult Swim

[LennG]

Courtesy of our friend Tom Reed




You've seen the commercials -

[drakew]

sent from a friend down south:

Yesterday, I passed a newly-opened car detailing business.

They call themselves "So-So Clean".

Who wants a car cleaning that is only "so-so"???

They should have called their business "So, So, Clean".





There once was a used car lot not far from me.

They required a minimum down payment of $500, but would accept higher sums.

Their sign read "$500 down and up".





Currently, there is a used car dealer here called "Sports & Imports".

They have no sportscars, although they did have a Corvette briefly.

Mostly, they sell Jeeps, Hummers, and domestic SUVs.





Thre are some brothers named May (like James May of Top Gear) here in Chattanooga.

They own & operate several automotive-related businesses in the area.

One of the businesses sells used/worn tires.

It is called "May Pop Tires".

I like that one!

[drakew]

What is the motto of a Jewish cannibal?

Keep your friends close, and your enemies Kosher...

[Sem]

 

[LennG]

JEWS SANK THE TITANIC




















?L?ighten up your day.   
 
The plane leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish  captain.

His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a
mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I
don't like Chinese.. .'

'No rike Chinese?' asks the copilot, 'why not?'

'You people bombed Pearl Harbor , that's why!'

'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.'

"Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese...Doesn't  matter, you're all alike!'

There's a few minutes of silence...

'I no rike Jews!' the copilot suddenly announces. 'Oh yeah, why not?' Asks the captain.

'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot.

'What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the  captain, 'It was an iceberg!'

'Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , no mattah...all frucking same!!'

[Sem]

.