Just a joke

[LennG]

True story. I highly doubt it

A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said
"I want to be a movie star." Tall, handsome and with experience on
Broadway, he had the right credentials.

The agent asked, "What's your name?"

The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."

The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into
Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name."

"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old. I
will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."

The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years.. you will
NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm
telling you, , you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able
to represent you."

"So be it! I guess we will not do business together" the guy said and
he left the agent's office.

FIVE YEARS LATER.... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office.
Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is
awe-struck, who would possibly send him $ 50,000? He reads the letter
enclosed...

"Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become
an actor in Hollywood , you told me I needed to change my name.
Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You
told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van
Lesbian After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I
decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride
to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would
never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is
a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice..

Sincerely,

Dick van Dyke

[Ed Vette]

True story. I highly doubt it

A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said
"I want to be a movie star." Tall, handsome and with experience on
Broadway, he had the right credentials.

The agent asked, "What's your name?"

The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."

The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into
Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name."

"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old. I
will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."

The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years.. you will
NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm
telling you, , you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able
to represent you."

"So be it! I guess we will not do business together" the guy said and
he left the agent's office.

FIVE YEARS LATER.... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office.
Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is
awe-struck, who would possibly send him $ 50,000? He reads the letter
enclosed...

"Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become
an actor in Hollywood , you told me I needed to change my name.
Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You
told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van
Lesbian After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I
decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride
to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would
never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is
a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice..

Sincerely,

Dick van Dyke

[squibber]

Sorry I can't laugh. It's been a rough week. My wife left me for a tractor salesman and I got a John Deere letter in the mail. (groan)

Then I took my car to a mechanic and asked him for a rough estimate. He punched me in the stomach and said $450.

[LennG]

Redneck Birth Control


After their 11th child, a Kentucky couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford any more kids. So, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. 'A less costly alternative,' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Kentucky) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10. The Kentuckian said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me. ''Trust me,' said the doctor. So, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count! "1" "2" "3"

[Jolly Blue Giant]

Redneck Birth Control


After their 11th child, a Kentucky couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford any more kids. So, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. 'A less costly alternative,' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Kentucky) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10. The Kentuckian said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me. ''Trust me,' said the doctor. So, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count! "1" "2" "3"

[LennG]

Count me in that column also. I hope I didn't offend anyone living in those states. 


Who was the comedian who made a living doing those redneck jokes?

[Jolly Blue Giant]

Count me in that column also. I hope I didn't offend anyone living in those states. 


Who was the comedian who made a living doing those redneck jokes?

Jeff Foxworthy - he has a net worth north of 100 million telling those corny jokes

[Bill Brown]

Count me in that column also. I hope I didn't offend anyone living in those states. 


Who was the comedian who made a living doing those redneck jokes?

Part of the country's problems today is we have forgotten how to laugh at each other without someone being offended.

Bill

[LennG]

Part of the country's problems today is we have forgotten how to laugh at each other without someone being offended.

Bill

Good to see you again Bill, and your words are so true.

[Blue4Life]

Part of the country's problems today is we have forgotten how to laugh at each other without someone being offended.

Bill

It made me realize that laughing at these jokes and having conflicted feeling at the same time is just wrong. Thank for this....

[Jolly Blue Giant]

Part of the country's problems today is we have forgotten how to laugh at each other without someone being offended.

Bill

So true. Comedians and comedy movies/tv series, etc., are handcuffed these days so we end up bored instead of having a good laugh. Imagine if "All in the Family" debuted this year - it would never be shown. Or some of the old SNL skits where offending people was the heart of their comedic sets (think back at some of the old Richard Pryor / Chevy Chase skits or "Jane, you ignorant slut"...LOL). Or one of the most obvious offensive movies, "Blazing Saddles" which would never ever be made in today's WOKE environment. Heck, I'll probably get a warning or expulsion for posting this:

[LennG]

In today's world--Don Rickles--Who??????

[LennG]

 
We need a laugh today

[LennG]

 A few more

[LennG]

Funnies for a cold day