Just a joke

[MightyGiants]

[MightyGiants]

[LennG]

Seniors and guns


Yesterday I got my permit to carry a concealed weapon.
So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a 9mm handgun for
home/personal protection.

When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, "Strip
down, facing me."

Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun control wackos
running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she
was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!

As a senior citizen, I do not get flustered often, but this time it took me
a while to get my pants back on.

I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions to seniors a little more clear.

I still don't think I looked that bad! I just need to wear underwear more
often.

[squibber]

I went on a pleasure trip yesterday.  I drove my mother in law to the airport.

[LennG]

What is Celibacy?

Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Jim and his wife Kay listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He then addressed the men. "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Jim leaned over, touched Kay's arm gently, and whispered,
"Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn't it?"

And thus began Jim's life of celibacy...

[Sem]

[LennG]

  An Irishman's first drink with his son!
    While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint.
    Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage.  I got him a Guinness He didn't like it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Kilkenny, he didn't like that either, so I drank it.  Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager? He didn't. I drank it.
    I thought maybe he'd like whisky better than beer so we tried a Jameson's. Nope! In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast Ireland's finest whisky.  He wouldn't even smell it. What could I do but drink it!
    By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink, I was so xxxx-faced I could hardly push his stroller back home!!!

[MightyGiants]

[drakew]

A woman walks into a bar....

with a duck under her arm. Bartender says: " What are you doing with that pig?"
Woman says:" that is NOT a pig, that is a duck"
Bartender says "I was talking to the duck"

(drum roll)

[Sem]

What do you call a teacher that never passes gas in public?
A private tutor.

Dogs can

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