Just a joke

[Sem]

I'm sure given the current situation there's a lot of these floating around. Anyway...

Day 1

[LennG]

[LennG]

Why we need to drink more beer

One night at   Cheers ,   a TV Sitcom,   Cliff Clavin   said to his buddy, Norm Peterson: "Well, ya see, Normy, it's like this .. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.  This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.  But, naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.  That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers!

[Sem]

One of my favorite shows, and one of my favorite "Cliff-isms."

[LennG]

One of my favorite shows, and one of my favorite "Cliff-isms."

And you have to read it, as you know Cliff would say it.

[eilasidogruoy]

The National Origami championship is on this weekend. It

[eilasidogruoy]

People laugh at mountains because they are hill areas

[eilasidogruoy]

Does anyone have any raunchy jokes so terrible that you have to pick and choose who you

[drakew]

...gourd head.....

[Jolly Blue Giant]

Does anyone have any raunchy jokes so terrible that you have to pick and choose who you

[eilasidogruoy]

Not raunchy, but I have offended people with my jokes before. One of them got people cracked up while told, but in another setting, people (one woman to be exact) was deeply offended and said, "there is nothing funny about that."

Here tis:

Question: What does a hurricane in Florida, a tornado in Kansas, and a divorce in Kentucky have in common?

Answer: Someone's about to lose a trailer!

I can see (barely) why someone could be offended by that but that joke is Sesame Street compared to the 2 I've heard. I'm telling you when I say Raunchy I mean RAUNCHY.  I want to post them just so you'd see what I'm talking about but I guarantee there will be blow back.

[LennG]

I can see (barely) why someone could be offended by that but that joke is Sesame Street compared to the 2 I've heard. I'm telling you when I say Raunchy I mean RAUNCHY.  I want to post them just so you'd see what I'm talking about but I guarantee there will be blow back.

Just my own opinion, since it might really upset some people,. you would be wise NOT to post it. We aren't here to offend anyone and you have stated a couple of times it will do that.

Just a side note. Most know, I am a baseball umpire. My partner for over 10 years was a good friend of mine who was Black. We WERE good friends and we used to kid each other all the time. He had some good 'Jewish' humor (I am Jewish) and I had some good jokes about African Americans. We were friends and we both grew up in an era when we could kid each other. And we laughed all the time with our private humor. But, when others might have heard this and offered their own rendition of say some Jewish Humor, from someone I really didn't know, I never found that funny and I did find it insulting. Same for the other way around. My point is what is between two friends and their take on humor may not be for everyone.
Let it lie.

[eilasidogruoy]

Thanks LennG and I made my mind up already that it's better to let it drop. It wouldn't be good and I'd regret it as soon as I clicked Post.

I agree with your sentiments regarding what's funny between friends may not be funny coming from someone less. Kinda like I can make fun of my brother but dont you dare make fun of my brother.

[LennG]

Thanks LennG and I made my mind up already that it's better to let it drop. It wouldn't be good and I'd regret it as soon as I clicked Post.

I agree with your sentiments regarding what's funny between friends may not be funny coming from someone less. Kinda like I can make fun of my brother but dont you dare make fun of my brother.

Exactly   

[Jolly Blue Giant]

Getting back on track with the original intent of this thread, let me share a couple more "offensive" (to some) jokes. Let me preface it with, I am blonde (or used to be, now it's pretty much bald and gray with some streaks of blonde left), my girlfriend is blonde, my ex-wife is blonde, my daughters are blonde, and 5 out of 7 of my grandchildren are blonde.

A young blonde hottie was sitting in the audience enjoying a show that was headlined by a well-known ventriloquist. After going through a few jokes, the ventriloquist started in with a couple of blonde jokes. The blonde hottie started getting really upset and couldn't take it anymore and decided to walk up to the stage and let her protest be known. She got on the stage and said, "I am deeply offended by your blonde jokes and I want you to stop right now". The ventriloquist was somewhat taken aback and replied, "I'm terribly sorry ma'am, it's just in good fun", to which the blonde replied, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to him" as she pointed to the dummy!

Okay, another perhaps offensive to some.

A 36 year old single school teacher stopped at the grocery store after school. She bought a quart of milk, small packages of fruits and vegetables as well as several single-serving types of food in containers. As she was checking out, a dirty, bedraggled old homeless man got in line behind her and watched her closely as she checked out. When she was done the man said to her, "yer single ain't ya". Smiling inside, the woman thought that he must have surmised that by looking at the items she bought and was pleased to see his mind at work. So she replied with a smile, "why yes I am...how could you tell?" The homeless man replied, "Cuz yer ugly"!

ouch!