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Just a joke

Started by babywhales, November 02, 2007, 11:44:05 AM

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Sem

An old I/T joke....

I was walking down a street, and noticed that the houses were numbered 64k, 128k, 256k, 512k, 1mb, 2mb....
That was a trip down memory lane.

Sem

An elderly man thinking his
wife was losing her hearing
went about 20' behind her
and asked "Can you hear me
sweetheart?' No reply. Moved
to 10' and inquired again. No
reply. 5' and not a word. A
few inches behind ear, he
asked "Can you hear me now
honey"? His wife said "For the
fourth time, yes."

Sem

We need transition lenses that keep getting darker the longer someone is talking to you...


Thursday, 4:01pm
"Still there."
"Yep."
"Looks blue."
"It certainly does."
"Wet too."
"Totally."
"See you next week?"
"Count on it."







MightyGiants

SMART, TOUGH, DEPENDABLE

LennG

HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST

NOT RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!

ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.........

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair.

He had no arms or legs.

"You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?" the widow said.

"Just look at you ... You have no legs!"

The old gentleman smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

You don't have any arms either!" she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed?"

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

The wedding is scheduled for Sunday
I HATE TO INCLUDE THE WORD NASTY< BUT THAT IS PART OF BEING A WINNING FOOTBALL TEAM.

Charlie Weiss

LennG

weekend funnies==MENS addition







I HATE TO INCLUDE THE WORD NASTY< BUT THAT IS PART OF BEING A WINNING FOOTBALL TEAM.

Charlie Weiss

LennG


The more you look, the more you see



I HATE TO INCLUDE THE WORD NASTY< BUT THAT IS PART OF BEING A WINNING FOOTBALL TEAM.

Charlie Weiss

LennG

AND, don't forget next week is the start of Daylight Savings Time, so make sure you remember to change your clocks



I HATE TO INCLUDE THE WORD NASTY< BUT THAT IS PART OF BEING A WINNING FOOTBALL TEAM.

Charlie Weiss

Ed Vette

"There is a greater purpose...that purpose is team. Winning, losing, playing hard, playing well, doing it for each other, winning the right way, winning the right way is a very important thing to me... Championships are won by teams who love one another, who respect one another, and play for and support one another."
~ Coach Tom Coughlin

Jolly Blue Giant

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?

You have been with me all through the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me.

When my business failed, you were there.

When I got shot, you were by my side.

When we lost the house, you stayed right here.

When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"Seems to me you're bad luck."
The fact that Keith Richards has outlived Richard Simmons, sure makes me question this whole, "healthy eating and exercise" thing

LennG


Some real serious 'thoughts' for the day



I HATE TO INCLUDE THE WORD NASTY< BUT THAT IS PART OF BEING A WINNING FOOTBALL TEAM.

Charlie Weiss

GIANTS1

A lady went up to silent Calvin Coolidge an said "i bet my friend a 100 bucks i could get you to say 3 words" He said "you lose"

Ed Vette

A beautiful young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor stopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the sailor. "Look, I'm off to Europe tomorrow and I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy." With nothing to lose, the woman accepted.

That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn. Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection. "What are you doing here?" asked the captain. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Europe. Plus he's screwing me." "He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."🤣🤣🤣
"There is a greater purpose...that purpose is team. Winning, losing, playing hard, playing well, doing it for each other, winning the right way, winning the right way is a very important thing to me... Championships are won by teams who love one another, who respect one another, and play for and support one another."
~ Coach Tom Coughlin

Ed Vette

What's better than Roses on your Piano?

Tulips on your organ.

Happy Spring!
"There is a greater purpose...that purpose is team. Winning, losing, playing hard, playing well, doing it for each other, winning the right way, winning the right way is a very important thing to me... Championships are won by teams who love one another, who respect one another, and play for and support one another."
~ Coach Tom Coughlin

bamagiantfan

One day you are young and full of life and then before you know it you are driving down the road and turning down the radio so you can see better.
I know you believe you understand what you think I wrote, but I'm not sure you realize that what you read is not what I meant - Robert McCloskey (if he were on this Forum)