30 Things I learned growing up watching movies

[Jolly Blue Giant]

1. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit at least one strip club.
2. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
3. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
4. All beds have special odd-shaped sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
5. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
6. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you through it.
7.The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
8. You rarely need to reload your gun, and if you do, there will always be more ammunition on you - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
9. You're very likely to survive any dire situation unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your wife or child back home.
10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
11. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince and squirm when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
12. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
13. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet or the cash in your pocket as you take out a bill at random and hand it to the driver. It will always be the exact fare.
14. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
15. When being chased always climb to the top of the highest building from whence there is no escape.
16. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon, and waffles for their family every morning even though their husbands and children never have time to eat it.
17. Cars that crash will most likely blow up and burst into flames.
18. The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective.
19. It is always possible to shoot door locks or padlocks off without the ricochet killing you or your companion
20. Any person waking from a nightmare will bolt upright in a sitting position and pant.
21. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
23. It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
24. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
25. A black guy will usually be the first to die.
26. Girlfriends tend to be 9

[EDjohnst1981]

this made me laugh.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[LennG]

1. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit at least one strip club.
2. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
3. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
4. All beds have special odd-shaped sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
5. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
6. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you through it.
7.The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
8. You rarely need to reload your gun, and if you do, there will always be more ammunition on you - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
9. You're very likely to survive any dire situation unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your wife or child back home.
10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
11. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince and squirm when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
12. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
13. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet or the cash in your pocket as you take out a bill at random and hand it to the driver. It will always be the exact fare.
14. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
15. When being chased always climb to the top of the highest building from whence there is no escape.
16. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon, and waffles for their family every morning even though their husbands and children never have time to eat it.
17. Cars that crash will most likely blow up and burst into flames.
18. The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective.
19. It is always possible to shoot door locks or padlocks off without the ricochet killing you or your companion
20. Any person waking from a nightmare will bolt upright in a sitting position and pant.
21. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
23. It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
24. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
25. A black guy will usually be the first to die.
26. Girlfriends tend to be 9

[LennG]

Might as well add a few more

If you hear a noise in the basement, grab a stick and go investigate all by yourself
Remember, if you hear an explosion, always walk calmly away and never look back
If you decide to start dancing in the street everyone around you will automatically be able to mirror all the steps you come up with and hear the music in your head.
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
A chase scene on foot in a city always has a shot of one of the characters running into the street, nearly being hit by a car screeching to a halt at which point the driver flails his arm out the window and yells an expletive.
No matter how slow zombies walk they will always catch up.
The bad guy will always throw his gun at you to indicate he has run out of bullets.
A candle or table lamp can light a whole room and at night time
There appears a very slow bar saying

[ozzie]

Hahaha, love it and so true.

I will add onto #7
(The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.)
No matter how old the building this same ventilation system will appear brand new.
No dust, no dirt, no cobwebs and no bugs. And and it will always be big enough for our hero to crawl comfortably thru!

Great lists guys. Very funny!

[jimv]

Hahaha, love it and so true.

I will onto #7
(The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.)
No matter how old the building this same ventilation system will appear brand new.
No dust, no dirt, no cobwebs and no bugs. And and it will always be big enough for our hero to crawl comfortably thru!

Great lists guys. Very funny!

There was dirt in the ventilation system in "Die Hard."

[Jolly Blue Giant]

Could add a few more I learned growing up watching movies

- anyone can hotwire start a modern car by simply pulling a couple of wires from under the dash and drive away  (no car post 1990 can be hotwired)
- picking locks is as easy as sticking a couple of shims in the hole and wiggling it
- handgun goes off in a car and no one acts like they just lost their hearing for the next 5 minutes
- if a girl is pissed off, just kiss her and all will be well and she'll melt in your arms
- you can jump out of a hospital bed after being in a coma for months to fight like hell and then drive away to fight more (Kill Bill)
- no house ever has clutter or is messy, even when there is no maid
- if you suspect danger, go straight for it and not go for help
- if you are involved in a crime or witness a crime, turn on a TV anytime, anywhere and there will be a relevant news story on it at just the right time
- no woman has ever said no to sex because of her monthly
- you can get a taxi within 2 seconds of needing one
- when getting a beer at a bar, you don't have to wait and you don't have to tell the bartender what kind of beer you want, just "gimmee a beer" and he won't ask what kind and just fetches one
- if you are between the ages of 25 - 35, you can play the part of a teenager in school and no one can tell
- when going into a basement suspecting there is danger, don't turn on the light
- sex always ends with simultaneous climax
- if you are in a hurry to get away from pending danger, your car won't start
- it's normal for teens have parties when their parents are out with hundreds of kids taking over the house
- when revealing shameful secrets to someone in the bathroom, there is always someone in a stall that overheard it
- you can just stick a thumb drive in a computer to get all the necessary information in under a minute
- if you are white and walk into a bar/nightclub that is filled with blacks (or vice versa), a record will suddenly scratch and stop and everyone will look at you
- if you run out of bullets, just throw away the gun
- apartments for commoners in NYC tend to be large
- if you fall several stories out of a window, balcony, or roof, thank heavens there's a dumpster to break your fall so you won't be hurt
- all you need to crack a safe is a stethoscope...if you don't have one, turn a glass upside down and put your ear to it
- helicopters in movies will eventually explode
- if you are cool and you just created a huge explosion, you will walk away without looking at what you just did

[T200]

These are hilarious!!! 

[MightyGiants]

after all my decades as an EMT (finally retired) I will share what I can tell you is different in real life than the movies:

1)  you can't knock people out.   That is a troupe for TV and movies where you hit someone on the head and they remain unconscious for a period of time.  Any head injury with a loss of consciousness (which usually is very brief) is a serious head injury

2) most ERs don't even notice you when you bring in a patient.   The exception is if you have a badly injured patient and you take them to a trauma center.   The better trauma patients dealing with a seriously injured patient will create the look you see on TV and in the movies.

3) we rarely allow "guests" in the back of an ambulance when we transport a patient (the exception being a parent when the child is a minor or law enforcement if the patient is in custody or might be dangerous).

4) defibrillators do not make a loud noise when you shock a patient.  The patient may move from the shock but there is no loud clunk

5) if the patient is flat-lined on the EKG you can't and don't shock them.   The defibrillators are intended to correct ventricular fibrillation (which creates a pattern on the EKG) to reset the rhythm.  It doesn't "jump-start" the heart. 

6) once CPR is started it's not stopped unless a doctor pronounces (even paramedics need to coordinate with a physician).  We don't start CPR for a few minutes and then decide it's not going to work and stop.  Depending on the situation we will stop if they started with a flat-lined patient and a physician concurs but most of the time once CPR is started it's not ended until the patient is in the ER.

7) Ambulances don't (or shouldn't) drive like maniacs especially when they have a patient.  The idea is that the treatment is ongoing since the scene and driving like a crazy person make it hard for treatment to continue.   In fact an amblunance will drive extra slow when doing CPR (unless they have one of those automatic CPR machines)

[Jolly Blue Giant]

That's very interesting Rich (BTW, you do an important service for which I tip my hat and thank you). Especially surprised about no.5 and for the life of me, I would have expected a "thump" when someone gets shocked from a defibrillator. My belief in the thump comes directly from watching movies!

[MightyGiants]

That's very interesting Rich (BTW, you do an important service for which I tip my hat and thank you). Especially surprised about no.5 and for the life of me, I would have expected a "thump" when someone gets shocked from a defibrillator. My belief in the thump comes directly from watching movies!

I will say the "CLEAR!" part is accurate, you don't want to be touching a patient who is being shocked

[LennG]

If you are driving the wrong way on a highway, you will NOT crash into any other cars, no matter how crowded that highway is, and they are all doing 65 MPH.

No matter how dead the bad guy is in those slasher movies, he will always not be dead to attack our hero again.

Females from 'olden' times always have the perfect makeup on

In older westerns, no matter how many times a guy gets into fights, falls off his horse, rolls over tables, he never loses his hat

In all types of movies, westerns, crime, war, the nice buddy, the guy who talks all the time, will always get shot and die.

All secret agents can disable a guy with one karate slap to the neck

In westerns, ever notice that when they 'tie' up their horses, they simply just throw the rope over the board and the horse never tries to wander away.

If you are a cop and are chasing a bad guy, never call for backup, just go at it alone. AND if you send your partner around to the back, you know he is about to get killed.

And speaking about cops, why are most cops, except for our hero, portrayed as useless or morons or lazy.

[Jolly Blue Giant]

Those are great Lenn. I've often wondered myself why the horse stays when his reigns are just thrown on the hitching post. Of course, they are very well trained horses. I've had three horses in my life and all three of them would walk away, except Rebel who would run away like his tail was on fire and be on the other side of the hill within seconds...LOL. Rebel was not a well behaved horse and lived up to his name. When my father bought him for us kids, he never bothered to ask why they named him Rebel 

And speaking about cops, why are most cops, except for our hero, portrayed as useless or morons or lazy

Good question. It's not an accurate portrayal. But in Hollywood, that goes back to the days of Keystone cops and maybe the image of incompetent police officers just stuck and Hollywood just can't let it go

[ozzie]

I will add one more to this growing list of education we receive from Hollywood.

You can snap/break a guys neck and kill him just by coming at him from behind and twisting his head!

[Jolly Blue Giant]

I will add one more to this growing list of education we receive from Hollywood.

You can snap/break a guys neck and kill him just by coming at him from behind and twisting his head!

Ha, ha...see that all the time, just "snap it", no big deal