Big Blue Huddle

Can be about anything.  Just post some good advice

A few of my own

Over tip waitresses when getting breakfast at a diner. They run their asses off and get 15% on a meal under 10.00. Compare that with high end restaurants where your meal is over 100.00 and you barely see your waiter/waitress. Breakfast workers are the hardest workers of all and live on tips. Nothing wrong with leaving a 5-spot on the table for your meal, especially if they keep coming over to freshen your coffee and make sure you are well taken care of. Nothing irks me more than seeing a few coins left on the table for a hard working waitress

Don't interrupt someone who is talking. Let them finish. This rule should be self-evident, but I see it broken a lot. Irks the hell out of me 

Wave to your neighbors when driving by, even if you don't know them

If you are a gun enthusiast, NEVER EVER allow the gun to be pointed at a human being...unless you are defending your home from an intruder, etc

Be nice to domesticated animals at all times. There's never a good excuse for cruelty - ever!

Your character can be measured by yourself. Just ask yourself, "What would I do if there is no way I would ever get caught?" There's your answer

Listen more than talk - every person you'll ever meet (even a child), knows something you don't. Try to figure it out

Wanna make friends? Ask them questions to get them to talk about themselves. They'll love you

If you are someone who loves to cook, or wants to become a good cook, choose "low-medium", or "medium" heat setting on almost everything you cook on a stove top. Cooking on "high" is not a shortcut to getting your meal quicker. "High" is good for searing, boiling water, and making homemade candy

Be financially frugal, save/invest, pay your bills on time, and find a worthy charity you feel strongly about and give anonymously to a cause you believe in

Maintain your car regularly and you'll avoid a myriad of headaches 

Life is short - stay optimistic, be happy with the lot you've been dealt, treat every person alike no matter physical/geographical/religious/political differences - we're all just humans, avoid confrontation and negative people, be friendly to strangers, travel as much as you can, get involved in hobbies that you love, cheer for your favorite team and realize it's just a game for our entertainment

https://youtu.be/Z-GeLBdqYcw

Quote from: Jolly Blue Giant on May 23, 2023, 10:13:00 AMA few of my own

Over tip waitresses when getting breakfast at a diner. They run their asses off and get 15% on a meal under 10.00. Compare that with high end restaurants where your meal is over 100.00 and you barely see your waiter/waitress. Breakfast workers are the hardest workers of all and live on tips. Nothing wrong with leaving a 5-spot on the table for your meal, especially if they keep coming over to freshen your coffee and make sure you are well taken care of. Nothing irks me more than seeing a few coins left on the table for a hard working waitress

Don't interrupt someone who is talking. Let them finish. This rule should be self-evident, but I see it broken a lot. Irks the hell out of me 

Wave to your neighbors when driving by, even if you don't know them

If you are a gun enthusiast, NEVER EVER allow the gun to be pointed at a human being...unless you are defending your home from an intruder, etc

Be nice to domesticated animals at all times. There's never a good excuse for cruelty - ever!

Your character can be measured by yourself. Just ask yourself, "What would I do if there is no way I would ever get caught?" There's your answer

Listen more than talk - every person you'll ever meet (even a child), knows something you don't. Try to figure it out

Wanna make friends? Ask them questions to get them to talk about themselves. They'll love you

If you are someone who loves to cook, or wants to become a good cook, choose "low-medium", or "medium" heat setting on almost everything you cook on a stove top. Cooking on "high" is not a shortcut to getting your meal quicker. "High" is good for searing, boiling water, and making homemade candy

Be financially frugal, save/invest, pay your bills on time, and find a worthy charity you feel strongly about and give anonymously to a cause you believe in

Maintain your car regularly and you'll avoid a myriad of headaches 

Life is short - stay optimistic, be happy with the lot you've been dealt, treat every person alike no matter physical/geographical/religious/political differences - we're all just humans, avoid confrontation and negative people, be friendly to strangers, travel as much as you can, get involved in hobbies that you love, cheer for your favorite team and realize it's just a game for our entertainment

I really enjoyed reading these JBG. Lots of wisdom here. Thank you for your thoughts.

Quote from: MightyGiants on May 23, 2023, 09:37:43 AMCan be about anything.  Just post some good advice

Terrific thread idea for this slow period. I need to think about this one a little.

I had a few thoughts:


1. Invest very heavily in your top 3-5 friendships:

This is not in any way to say that non top 5 friends should be ignored are treated as second class citizens, but there really is no price you can put on the value of having a true, unconditionally loyal, close friend. As life goes through its twists and turns, it is impossible to stay in touch with literally everyone you know, but I have found it is well worth going significantly out of my way to maintain very close relationships with my top handful of friends. There really is no substitute for a truly close friend who respects you and is there for you when you need him/her (and vice-versa obviously).


2. Be willing to forgive people:

Obviously, there are some transgressions that are unforgivable. I don't need to list examples here as we have all encountered them. But well-intentioned people make mistakes all the time, sometimes fairly big ones. I'm certainly no exception to that. From an unselfish standpoint, forgiving someone is an act of kindness and maturity. And even from a more selfish standpoint, being a forgiving person tends to mean being a happier person, plus it can save a relationship that is worth saving.


3. Travel as much as reasonably possible, at least for as long as you are physically able to:

Changing up your scenery and experiencing new and different things is an incredibly rewarding part of life and one that is easy to forget about if you get trapped in your routine. Travel can be a hassle, an expense, and many aspects of it are a pain in the ass, but it is one of life's great pleasures and also an incredible learning opportunity, no matter where you go.


4. Place tremendous value on sleep:

Sleep is hugely important and perhaps somewhat underrated in its importance. I have done a fair bit of reading on sleep. Most Americans don't get enough of it, and many of us have sleep disorders. Many health problems can be tied to insufficient or low quality sleep. Allowing enough time every night and attending to proper sleep hygiene (room temperature, comfortable bedding, lack of screen use late at night, etc) is of immeasurable importance based on my research. I would advise seeking help from a qualified professional to this end if you need it (and so many do). It's easy to underrate the importance, because you can still get by with a less than ideal amount. But if you do that you will not be maximizing your physical or mental health.


5. Remember people's birthdays:

I'm terrible at this, but I'm still advising it because I think it matters. Everyone cares about their birthday a little bit more than they admit out loud. If you're one of the few non-family members who wishes them a happy birthday that day, I think it means something. It's not that hard to be one of those guys, so why not do it?

When you need to lift something heavy get close to the object, squat down and use your legs to help lift. Now, if I only followed my own advice a few days ago I wouldn't be alternating between a heating pad and my R1 every few minutes the past couple days.

Quote from: DaveBrown74 on May 23, 2023, 07:56:24 PMI had a few thoughts:


1. Invest very heavily in your top 3-5 friendships:

This is not in any way to say that non top 5 friends should be ignored are treated as second class citizens, but there really is no price you can put on the value of having a true, unconditionally loyal, close friend. As life goes through its twists and turns, it is impossible to stay in touch with literally everyone you know, but I have found it is well worth going significantly out of my way to maintain very close relationships with my top handful of friends. There really is no substitute for a truly close friend who respects you and is there for you when you need him/her (and vice-versa obviously).


3. Travel as much as reasonably possible, at least for as long as you are physically able to:

Changing up your scenery and experiencing new and different things is an incredibly rewarding part of life and one that is easy to forget about if you get trapped in your routine. Travel can be a hassle, an expense, and many aspects of it are a pain in the ass, but it is one of life's great pleasures and also an incredible learning opportunity, no matter where you go.

5. Remember people's birthdays:

I'm terrible at this, but I'm still advising it because I think it matters. Everyone cares about their birthday a little bit more than they admit out loud. If you're one of the few non-family members who wishes them a happy birthday that day, I think it means something. It's not that hard to be one of those guys, so why not do it?

Those three I highlighted of Dave's are very good (the others are good too, those three just stuck out with me).

I have one really close and great friend and a small group of four of us that get together every weekend, celebrate each other's birthdays, and lift each other up and laugh alot. I don't think any of us have any secrets. There's a single woman who is a PA and has been working with the best surgeon in the city for the last 20 years...and the surgeon is also a good friend, but his wife won't let him come out and play...LOL. There's also a retired Vietnam Vet who recently went through a divorce (the one who bought the new BMW), and my closest friend for more than 35 years and is the same age as me, both of us are graduates from the same school in Binghamton University. He has a radio talk show, his own business, works on the side for lawyers in holding pre-trial arbitration for dispute resolution. And me, of course. A great, but small group of friends who I hold very dear to my heart

I traveled a lot for business when I was younger. Been all over Europe, the far east, and almost all the states in the union working with a huge variety of diverse people from all kinds of cultures and customs. Always came away friends and I used to think, "no better way to thoroughly eliminate prejudices and discrimination against people different from myself, is to get out there and meet those people". It's impossible to hold ill feelings towards any culture or race, once you get to know those people on a personal level. It's enlightening and a great feeling. Traveling outside your comfort zone cannot be overstated as to its benefits. Goes way beyond seeing sights

Quote from: Jolly Blue Giant on May 23, 2023, 10:49:16 PMThose three I highlighted of Dave's are very good (the others are good too, those three just stuck out with me).

I have one really close and great friend and a small group of four of us that get together every weekend, celebrate each other's birthdays, and lift each other up and laugh alot. I don't think any of us have any secrets. There's a single woman who is a PA and has been working with the best surgeon in the city for the last 20 years...and the surgeon is also a good friend, but his wife won't let him come out and play...LOL. There's also a retired Vietnam Vet who recently went through a divorce (the one who bought the new BMW), and my closest friend for more than 35 years and is the same age as me, both of us are graduates from the same school in Binghamton University. He has a radio talk show, his own business, works on the side for lawyers in holding pre-trial arbitration for dispute resolution. And me, of course. A great, but small group of friends who I hold very dear to my heart

I traveled a lot for business when I was younger. Been all over Europe, the far east, and almost all the states in the union working with a huge variety of diverse people from all kinds of cultures and customs. Always came away friends and I used to think, "no better way to thoroughly eliminate prejudices and discrimination against people different from myself, is to get out there and meet those people". It's impossible to hold ill feelings towards any culture or race, once you get to know those people on a personal level. It's enlightening and a great feeling. Traveling outside your comfort zone cannot be overstated as to its benefits. Goes way beyond seeing sights

Great points across the board. Agree with all of this.

As has been said many times, especially by my father...

"It is better keep quiet and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt."

I would like to add - be kind and respectful to everyone you meet.

One piece of advice that I'm pretty sure Bill Gates once gave publicly, which is more applicable to young-ish people, is to "think back to that thing you really loved to do when you were about 15. Chances are, whatever that thing was is what you should probably be doing for your career."

Or something to that effect.

While I think that's easy for someone like him to say, I think there is a a fair bit of truth in it. I know people who aimed for a specific career for reasons other than truly loving whatever it was. Maybe it's what they thought would make them the most money, maybe it's what their father did, etc. It seems reasonably clear that these individuals end up less happy than those who are guided purely by their true passions.

Needless to say, Bill Gates might have benefited himself from advice on what type of company you should keep, but that ship has sailed unfortunately.

Now that I've had time to think about it, there's more:

- Man judges you by your actions, not your words. Put another way, "your actions speak so loud, no one hears a word you say" (that is something my father drove into my head while growing up)

- If you borrow someone's car, always bring it back with a full tank of gas

- In negotiations, never make the first offer (first to make an offer, loses)

- You marry a girl, you marry her whole family (good luck)

- Thank a veteran - pick up his/her tab at a restaurant and don't tell them

- If you're the smartest man in the room, you're in the wrong room

- (Got this one from Men's Health Magazine and never forgot it). If a handsome hunk of a man walks into the room, there's good news and bad news. The bad news...no matter what you are told, every woman in the room is immediately aware of him and keeps track of him. The good news, as soon as he opens his mouth, you're all on the same footing.

- Also, if a woman accidentally reveals too much skin, don't for a second think it was an accident - it wasn't!

- You are 100% responsible for every one of your actions, including the words that come out of your mouth. Never try to put the blame elsewhere. Stand up straight and accept what you did or said (another thing my father drove into my head while growing up)

- If you are visiting a friend's home, pick out something about the place and compliment them on it (this might be the one time a "white lie" rule is okay)...can be as simple as, "I love your dishware" or "I love the style of your decor". You'll have no idea how much the host appreciates it

- If you go to a house party, be the first one to leave while everyone is telling you to stay. You'll always be welcomed in the future. Never be the last to leave, or you might not ever get invited to another one (see Seinfeld episode: the one with Jerry stuck at a house in Long Island waiting for Kramer to pick him up...another tidbit to help you recall that episode, Elaine told a woman in an Australian accent, "maybe a dingo ate your baby"...

- Open doors for ladies and elderly

- If entrusted with a secret, KEEP IT!

- If you wonder what facial features make you unique, sit for a caricature drawing

This is not political, but Ronald Reagan had two signs in the Oval Office that are quite profound and I never forgot them.
The first: "There is no limit to what you can accomplish if you don't care who gets the credit".
And secondly, "Compromise is the only way to get things done"

Never over reach your grasp

I wish I had some profound advice to share but all I have is-  never stick your face in a bag of angry squirrels 

If you live in the Northeast, avoid exterior exposure today.