Big Blue Huddle

 Over the weekend my kids came over and took me out for my birthday (tomorrow). While at a restaurant I see more than 1/2 the diners either using their phones while eating, while waiting to be served, or, at the very least, the phones right on the table, continually being looked at or used.
Yesterday we went to a local concert. While the group was performing I again, saw countless people continually looking at their phones, using the phones, checking whatever was on their phones. You get the picture.
 I fully understand if you need to stay in touch in an emergency, even for work, but even for work, if you are dining out, do you have to constantly look towards your phone?

I know I am not a phone person. I am not on any social media site, I don't get emails all day long and I certainly don't text people every few minutes. I go on a long cruise and I do not buy the internet package and I can go weeks without checking anything and never think t twice about it, but that's me.

I have a friend who whenever we see them, be it at home or out, I can be in the middle of a sentence and all of a sudden they are looking at their phone--constantly. I think this is the rudest thing ever.

How did we ever manage without cell phones? Again, I can understand that they are a tremendous convenience, but gosh they have turned the average person into an addict.

Sadly, very.

I have made a genuine effort to use it less (started with this after 2022 as a bit of a 2023 resolution), and my weekly screen time is down visibly from what it used to be, but I still use it plenty. I do use it quite a bit for work-related stuff, so I don't feel too bad about that, but I text too frequently. I have toned it down a bit, but there is still room for improvement.

Not while dining. If I'm out for dining I do keep my phone on the table but I don't use it much. I use it a lot at home just checking various sites and use several apps that make my like much easier.

Bill

Depending on the call or text, missing an important call can not only cost me thousands of dollars, but other people as well who rely upon me to handle matters of importance. There are times however when I know there is nothing urgent pending. Then it can wait, but the phone usefully sits on the table unless it's a formal setting.

Texting has become an integral tool in business communication for me and my industry.

I understood your position Lenn, it's a retirement mentality. However if I'm having lunch with you and an important call comes in, I will excuse myself and leave the table. My friends and family understand this.

Reading Facebook, the BBH, and  scrolling email at a dinner table or social gathering is an awkward pause that people have developed as habit. Unfortunately we have become 24/7/365 engaged. I agree that it is rude if it isolates someone else. Unfortunately it's all socially acceptable.

For me it's minimal. I don't have a landline and use my cell phone for calling, receiving calls, and texting. If I'm out and about, I might use my Firefox app to look up a score. The only other apps I use are the flashlight and Shazam (push the Shazam button, and it will me the song and singer or group that's on the radio). Oh yeah, I use it for photos for convenience's sake. Hmmm, maybe it's a bigger part of my life than I thought 

I actually hate them. I miss the old landlines with no caller ID or answering machine. If someone doesn't get me on the phone, they'll eventually find me if it's important. Now, it's uncanny how my phone only rings when I'm in the bathroom doing my business, showering, or in a checkout line

The biggest change as a result of the cell phone is now you call a person when before you called a location.

Bill

Lenn, I am 100% with you on this one.
No social media for me and I am not going to say I don't use my phone, it is a handy convenience to have, but if I had to go without it, so be it. I lived more years without a phone than with one and it seemed to work out just fine.

I use my cell phone more as a camera and a flashlight than as a phone. I make/receive very few calls or texts. There's a few apps that I use, and websites I visit.

Phone related - two days ago our son's cell phone was hacked and the hacker(s) tried to embezzle money from him. They sent texts to him stating that they have his contacts list and would start sending out harassing and compromising texts and pictures to his contacts unless he sends them money. An hour later they started sending texts and porographic pics to some of his contacts. These text looked like they originated from our son. Our son then sent texts to some friends saying he's been hacked and warning them of possible scam texts. A few minutes later he received a text from the hacker telling him to stop warning his contacts, and that sending them $650 is the only way to stop this. Since this all happened at night he waited until morning when his local Verizon store opened, he went in and they installed a new sim card and assigned him a new cell number. He also filed a police report. So far, two days later, all is good.

 I can fully understand the need to be able to be reached at all times, doctors, police, firemen, etc. need to be on call and a cell phone is a God-send for that. But why leave it on the table when dining? Is it so hard to keep it in your pocket and then pull it out when necessary?

I see people while at a concert that they paid good money to attend, spending more time on their phones on Facebook or whatever than watching what they came there to see. As Ed said, maybe it is my age, my position in this life-cycle but except for work or an emergency, whatever it is can wait an hour, to finish eating, finish a concert, or finish whatever one is doing.

Look, kids are a completely different story. I could go on forever about what effect using the cell phone is having on their views of life et al. Maybe I'm lucky, in that, my children didn't grow up in the era of the need to be on every social media platform there is, follow people who are now 'stars' online who would be nobodies if not for social media.
Look at Taylor Swift, she CAN influence millions with just one post. is this normal?

I have 3400 contacts on my phone. I pay more for the iPhone so I won't get hacked. I also disable Journaling so it's not discoverable.

I have the Pro Camera and it takes excellent pictures that I can edit easily. I use it for business and social media. I have several Groups I own on FB, one is for my HS Class and I've put thousands of pictures up there. Another is Family History. One for my Town and I have to approve all threads there along with my Moderators. I don't just get text messages, I also get Messenger messages during the day. Then there is this place, where i have to read most of the posts here and then deal with issues.

Needless to say, I'm engaged all day. On a busy day I can get 50 or more calls, 30 or more texts and 15-20 Messenger messages from people in town.

Someday Lenn, I'll be just like you and it will be strange at first, I'm sure. But for now, if I leave the phone at home or think I lost it, It's a feeling of dread.     

Quote from: Ed Vette on March 13, 2024, 04:41:11 PMI have 3400 contacts on my phone. I pay more for the iPhone so I won't get hacked. I also disable Journaling so it's not discoverable.

I have the Pro Camera and it takes excellent pictures that I can edit easily. I use it for business and social media. I have several Groups I own on FB, one is for my HS Class and I've put thousands of pictures up there. Another is Family History. One for my Town and I have to approve all threads there along with my Moderators. I don't just get text messages, I also get Messenger messages during the day. Then there is this place, where i have to read most of the posts here and then deal with issues.

Needless to say, I'm engaged all day. On a busy day I can get 50 or more calls, 30 or more texts and 15-20 Messenger messages from people in town.

Someday Lenn, I'll be just like you and it will be strange at first, I'm sure. But for now, if I leave the phone at home or think I lost it, It's a feeling of dread.   

Wow...you are a busy man. One thing that grabbed me as I read your post, was that you have a "Family History" page. My biggest life long hobby has been genealogy, and I've been at it for close to 50 years and have traveled all over the northeast and southward from New York to visit historical societies, cemeteries, old court house records, town historians, etc. I just published a 600+ page book on my family history. It took me a couple years to write (and rewrite a hundred times as I continually proofed it) my own family history, as well as both European and early American history. I guess we have more in common than our love/hate relationship with the Giants (99% love of course)

Quote from: Jolly Blue Giant on March 13, 2024, 05:06:34 PMWow...you are a busy man. One thing that grabbed me as I read your post, was that you have a "Family History" page. My biggest life long hobby has been genealogy, and I've been at it for close to 50 years and have traveled all over the northeast and southward from New York to visit historical societies, cemeteries, old court house records, town historians, etc. I just published a 600+ page book on my family history. It took me a couple years to write (and rewrite a hundred times as I continually proofed it) my own family history, as well as both European and early American history. I guess we have more in common than our love/hate relationship with the Giants (99% love of course)

Then there's days the phone never rings and I wonder if it's broken.

That book is very cool, maybe share more about how you got started. Do you have an Ancestry Account and did the DNA test?

Quick story. My family on my mother's side has a family plot that was started by my Great Grandfather. I noticed that my Grandmother's father was not buried there. Nobody alive knew why, including my Aunts and Uncles who were still alive at the time. After years of research, we went to a seminar and the person presenting it was able to find his death certificate. He was buried at Calvary Cemetery in Queens. Three million people are buried there. We called and got the plot and section number not realizing how big this place was and drove there on a Sunday. Well, we were frustrated but found the section which was also huge. Finally I told Linda to stop the car and I'll get out and look at the stone foundations and get an idea where we were. Well, he was buried seven rows and right in line to where the car stopped. The kind of thing that raises the hair on your arms.

Quote from: Jolly Blue Giant on March 13, 2024, 05:06:34 PMWow...you are a busy man. One thing that grabbed me as I read your post, was that you have a "Family History" page. My biggest life long hobby has been genealogy, and I've been at it for close to 50 years and have traveled all over the northeast and southward from New York to visit historical societies, cemeteries, old court house records, town historians, etc. I just published a 600+ page book on my family history. It took me a couple years to write (and rewrite a hundred times as I continually proofed it) my own family history, as well as both European and early American history. I guess we have more in common than our love/hate relationship with the Giants (99% love of course)

 I am not a genealogy person. Gosh, I don't even know who my parents parents were (my grandparents) as they died when I was very young. I have a very small family that I hardly keep in touch with. My wife is also from a smallish family.

My son did a DNA test a few years ago. From that and don't even ask how, they matched him up with a cousin of my wife who she hadn't seen or heard from since they were teens, maybe 50 years ago. My wife called them and the rest is history as they say. My wife and one of these cousins talk basically every day on the phone--for hours at a time. I guess, making up for lost time.       

Quote from: LennG on March 13, 2024, 09:05:26 PMI am not a genealogy person. Gosh, I don't even know who my parents parents were (my grandparents) as they died when I was very young. I have a very small family that I hardly keep in touch with. My wife is also from a smallish family.

My son did a DNA test a few years ago. From that and don't even ask how, they matched him up with a cousin of my wife who she hadn't seen or heard from since they were teens, maybe 50 years ago. My wife called them and the rest is history as they say. My wife and one of these cousins talk basically every day on the phone--for hours at a time. I guess, making up for lost time.       

Linda and I were talking about those DNA tests and wondered about children from Egg and Sperm Donors and if they ever connected with their half brothers and sisters. What prompted the conversion was the case in Massachusetts about the fertility Dr.
https://www.nbcnews.com/video/massachusetts-fertility-doctor-accused-of-impregnating-patient-with-his-own-sperm-200215621841

There was a movie with Vince Vaughn called Delivery Man. His nickname was Starbuck and it was based on a true story about a Canadian man David Wozniak.

Anyway, a lot of people have had kids that way. I wonder how many connect. They may even find out who the anonymous donors are.

It's a different book than most family histories. In my database on the computer, I have roughly 13,000 names. Of my direct ancestors, I have around 700 and have traced my ancestry back to 11 passengers on the Mayflower (many of the others were cousins, aunts and uncles), as well as many fairly famous people (Gov. John Winthrop, Gov. Thomas Dudley, Anne Hutchinson (who incidentally was banned from Massachusetts Bay Colony by Winthrop, and taken away by Major General Humphrey Atherton - another grandfather of mine), Rev. Thomas Hooker, Rev. Richard Mather, Rev. Charles Chauncey (2nd President of Harvard), Rev. Israel Chauncey (one of the 10 original founders of Yale who was voted to be its first President, but he refused because he felt it was his calling to continue pastoring his church), William Tuttle (whose estate was donated to start Yale - then called "Collegiate School" and was the only building used by Yale students for the first 30 years. His picture hangs in the halls of Yale), Capt. Thomas Yale (whose grandson Eli gave the college its name...making him a first cousin), Rev. John Lothroppe/Lathrop, Rev. John Hale who wrote the book ("A Modest Enquiry into the Nature of Witchcraft"), that stopped the witch hysteria (and also makes me a cousin to Nathan "I regret that I have only one life.." Hale), Louis Bevier (a French Huguenot and one of the original patentees of New Paltz..called Neu Pfalz back then, and whose name was Anglicized to Lewis throughout many generations and ended up my father's middle name, which he had no idea why Lewis was important to his family), etc.

So I have written a bio of each. Primarily, that is what I've done...researched my relatives' lives back to shortly before the Revolution or to the day the arrived in America. One of the things I have done, is gone to where the families lived, gotten permission to go into the church where they worshiped, and then I sit in a pew, close my eyes and think about the political issues of the time, who was President, the ages of their kids, what style of clothes they would have been wearing, how they traveled to church...and then go out in the church cemetery to stand in the exact spot as the family as one of them were put in the ground. After a while, you feel as if you know the people. I've spent a lot of time in historical societies and interviewing those who know the history of the area

So when I wrote my book, rather than write it in the format of a typical genealogy, I wrote about the lives of our grandparents and where they crossed lines with my other grandparents, how my grandparents met, what they did for a living, what the area was like when they lived there, etc. My computer can print out my genealogy with the pressing of a few keys, but facts such as dates, locations, siblings, can get very boring in a short while...especially with as many entries as I have in my database. I want whoever reads my book to get a feel of what their ancestors were like, not just a name and date, but their hardships, struggles, and joyous moments. Those straight genealogy books are like reading the "Book of Numbers" in the Bible...which is a real sleep-inducing struggle to read. And I want it so interesting that my descendants from a hundred years from now can't put it down. Also, it might trigger some of my grandchildren to find a love of history that I have - the past is incredible!

Anyway, my book has hundreds of pictures, maps, charts, and many stories about my long gone ancestors and their families and a precise picture of what that locale was like during the years they lived there. Man, and we thought we had it rough...whew. Those who gave their lives in the Revolution and French and Indian Wars, those who were slaughtered by natives. Two stories of my ancestors became the source of Longfellows' Poems and plays, like "The Phantom Ship" in which five of my grandfathers from New Haven perished, and the play in which Maj. Gen. Humphrey Atherton was killed, called "John Endicott"

As far as Ancestry.com goes, they have contacted me many times wanting to send my Gedcom (my entire database) and then pay them a bunch of money per month for the "privilege" of letting them profit from selling my life's work. And it was hard work in which I've invested my life and thousands of dollars on. I've told them, I have 50 years of running around the country gathering photos, information, old deeds, death certificates, digging up old toppled graves stones and resetting them, interviewing dozens of old timers, etc. Not to mention the hundreds of hours spent in the New York Library in Albany straining my eyes to read microfiche and census records that are barely legible. I did it the old-fashioned way, when computers weren't an easy source of information. I've told them that they should pay me for all that information, because I sure as hell wasn't going to pay them to share with the world my lifetime of work so they can make money off it...grrrr

Anyway, here are a few things from my book

A snapshot of the Table of Contents and a couple snapshots of a typical relationship chart to famous cousins, etc. Hope I'm not boring you to tears.









A picture of an early rendition of the book that is spiral bound. I have 8X11.5 hardcovers for libraries and close family members that are being produced. I am having about 50 made that are 9X7 spiral bound to give to grandkids (and a great-grandson in my case), nieces and nephews, etc. I write in the opening of my book that I have all this information and these people are family and the only one who even knows all this stuff is me...and if I die tomorrow, I take it all to the grave with me



This is a typical introduction to one of my family ancestors and how and when they met, where they moved to, and what they did for a living. This is not their whole life story, just an example of how I put my book together with maps, charts, stories, etc












Anyway, as you can see...this is my life's obsession and my legacy after I'm nothing more than a picture on a wall somewhere that eventually ends up in a box in an attic