Just a joke

[LennG]

And a few more to laugh at

[LennG]

And still some more very cute pix

[LennG]

One for the ages

One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."

Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."

Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park..." then the electric power goes out.

Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"



With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

[Ed Vette]

Great jokes, Lenn!

[LennG]

 So we need MORE humor

[Sem]

[LennG]

 More

[LennG]

 a  few more funnies

[LennG]

good one

[LennG]

Wise Italian Grandfather

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.
An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ..38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.
"Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'times up' "?

[LennG]

Irish blonde...


An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down
and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL OF THE STORY

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb,
...... but all men...are men!

[LennG]

 a few more funnies

[LennG]

Brilliant!

Look closely at the picture first and then read the story:






This actually happened to an Englishman, travelling in France, who was totally drunk.



A French policeman stopped the Englishman's car and asks if he has been drinking.



With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception, and consumed many single malt scotches there-after.



Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to breath test the Englishman and verifies that he is indeed completely inebriated, far beyond tolerable standards for public safety.



The French Policeman asks the Englishman if he knows why, under French law, he is going to be arrested.



The Englishman answers with a bit of humor, "No sir, I do not!  But while we're asking questions, do you realize that this is a British car and my wife is driving on the other side?

[LennG]

A skinny little white Irishman goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this huge black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him, he looks down and says: '7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown.'



The little white Irishman faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down, shakes him, and brings him to. The big guy says, 'What's wrong with you?'

In a weak voice the little Irish guy says, 'What exactly did you say to me?'



The big dude says, 'I saw your curious look and I figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me..... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown.'



The little white Irishman says: 'Turner Brown'! Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "Turn around."

[LennG]

If any of these have been here before, my apologies--still funny though