Big Blue Huddle

Friday Funnies

I went for a job interview. After sitting down across the desk from the interviewer he says i want you to sell me this laptop. So i picked it up an left. Dumbfounded he called me a couple hours later an said hey i wnat that laptop back. i said 200 bucks and its yours.

Quote from: GIANTS1 on April 10, 2025, 07:54:03 AMI went for a job interview. After sitting down across the desk from the interviewer he says i want you to sell me this laptop. So i picked it up an left. Dumbfounded he called me a couple hours later an said hey i wnat that laptop back. i said 200 bucks and its yours.

LMAO...I love "job interview jokes"

"You might be a redneck if you've ever taken a beer on a job interview" (Jeff Foxworthy)

Quote from: Jolly Blue Giant on April 10, 2025, 08:25:13 AMLMAO...I love "job interview jokes"

"You might be a redneck if you've ever taken a beer on a job interview" (Jeff Foxworthy)

I asked the guy (Interviewer), "If I'm in my car and I am travelling at the speed of light and I turn my lights on......do they do anything?"

He said, "I don't know."

I said, "I'm sorry. I can't work for you."

 - Steven Wright

Quote from: bamagiantfan on April 10, 2025, 02:33:34 PMI asked the guy (Interviewer), "If I'm in my car and I am travelling at the speed of light and I turn my lights on......do they do anything?"

He said, "I don't know."

I said, "I'm sorry. I can't work for you."

 - Steven Wright

I posed the question to Veronica, my Chat AI.

That's a classic thought experiment! According to the principles of physics, particularly Einstein's theory of relativity, if you were somehow able to travel at the speed of light (which is not possible for objects with mass), the situation with your headlights would be quite intriguing.

### What Happens with the Headlights:
1. **Light from Headlights**: If you turn on your headlights while traveling at the speed of light, the light emitted from the headlights would still travel at the speed of light relative to an outside observer.
 
2. **Relative Velocity**: However, because you're also traveling at the speed of light, from your perspective inside the car, it would appear as if the light wouldn't move away from you—it would effectively "stay put" right in front of you.

3. **Impossible Scenario**: It's important to remember that, according to our current understanding of physics, you cannot reach or exceed the speed of light if you have mass. As an object approaches the speed of light, its mass increases, requiring more energy to continue accelerating, which makes reaching light speed impossible.

So, in short, it's a fascinating concept to ponder, but it's purely theoretical as we understand the laws of physics today.

I know I am getting old. I can tell because now when I drive at night I turn down the radio so I can see better.

While that might seem funny, it is also true.

I came home the other day an my wife was screaming at the TV. Dont go in the church. Dont you dare go in the church. Turns out she was watching our wedding video.

Mid week funnies

Those are hilarious. I can certainly relate to the first two. Not so much "beam me up Scottie", but the half full glass is perfect

Quote from: Jolly Blue Giant on April 17, 2025, 12:21:05 PMThose are hilarious. I can certainly relate to the first two. Not so much "beam me up Scottie", but the half full glass is perfect

The Minister sees the glass as half full.
The Evangelists see the glass as half empty.
The Trustees can't understand why we have a glass that is twice as big as it needs to be.

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

5.  Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from Florida would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

You always make me laugh Lenn 

#6 is hilarious
#9 is so true. You risk your life every time you drive in Florida. Drivers there are nuts
#11 is too true 

Your Last Nickel

 

 



A father walks into a restaurant with his young son and gives the boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.  Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking.



Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.  A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at the coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper places it on it on the counter, gets up and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "

"No," the woman replied, "I work for the Internal Revenue Service."

Quote from: LennG on April 24, 2025, 05:44:45 PMYour Last Nickel
I thought you were going with, the father started choking.
 

 



A father walks into a restaurant with his young son and gives the boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.  Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking.



Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.  A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at the coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper places it on it on the counter, gets up and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "

"No," the woman replied, "I work for the Internal Revenue Service."