Just a joke

[LennG]

pre weekend funnies

[ozzie]

Reminds me of these three guys Lenn

[Sem]

[ozzie]

HAHA, you've got to be on your toes for that second one.

[Sem]

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $10,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, and his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $10,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant.

"I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

[Sem]

[Sem]

[Sem]

[Sem]

[Sem]

[Ed Vette]

Hmmm

[squibber]

There is a new restaurant called Karma. They don't give you a menu. You only get what you deserve.😆

[LennG]

An elderly man rear-ends a guy driving an expensive sports car.

Enraged, the guy hops out of his car and confronts the old man.  "Look what you did to my car" he yells.  You're gonna give me $10,000 right now or I'm gonna beat you to a bloody pulp!" 

"Oh my", says the old man, I don't have that kind of money.  Let me call my son, he trains dolphins and he'll know what to do."

"Dolphins", the other driver huffs, while rolling his eyes.

The old man pulls out his phone, dials his son, and just as the son answers, the irate man snatches the phone away from the old man. 

"So, YOU'RE a dolphin trainer, huh?

Well, your old man here just rear-ended my car and I need ten grand right now or I'm gonna beat you AND your old man to a bloody pulp".

"I'll be there in 10 minutes, says the voice calmly on the other end".

Exactly ten minutes later a jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a bloody heap on the side of the road.

When he's finished, he walks over to his father and says:  "For the LAST TIME dad... I train SEALS... NAVY SEALS... NOT dolphins"

[LennG]

Funny signs

[LennG]

Maybe a bit racy, nah, it's just fummy