Just a joke

[MightyGiants]

[GIANTS1]

A husband and wife go to the mall to Christmas shop. They soon get separated and she calls him on the cell phone. Where are you we have alot to do. Well do you remember that jewelry shop we were in when we first got married and you fell in love with that diamond necklace and i said i cant afford it but i will get it for you someday. She tears up and gets emotional. He says well im in the gun shop next door.

[LennG]

A few more quickies

[T200]

A few more quickies

I don't know how I'm alive because I don't have guts or balls! 

[LennG]

a few more 'sayings'

[LennG]

Paddy had long heard the story of an amazing family tradition. He Had been told
that his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather all were able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.

When Paddy's 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Jim took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat... and nearly drowned!!  Jim just barely managed to pull him to safety.

Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother. "Grandma," he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like me father, his father and his father before him?"
Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled blue eyes and said,
"Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather were all born in January, when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya idiot!"

[LennG]

a few more for laughs

[LennG]

Holiday humor

[LennG]

THIS IS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS WIFE.  PLEASE NOTE THAT SHE ASKS SEVEN QUESTIONS, WHICH HE ANSWERS QUITE SIMPLY.  BUT THEN SHE IS SPEECHLESS IN TRYING TO RESPOND TO ONLY ONE QUESTION FROM HIM.


Wife:     DO YOU DRINK BEER?
Husband:    YES

Wife :      HOW MANY BEERS A DAY?
Husband:    USUALLY ABOUT THREE.

Wife:     HOW MUCH DO YOU PAY PER BEER?
Husband:    $5.00 WHICH INCLUDES A TIP (THIS IS WHERE IT GETS SCARY!)

Wife:     AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?
Husband:    ABOUT 20 YEARS, I SUPPOSE.

  Wife:     SO A BEER COSTS $5 AND YOU HAVE THREE BEERS A DAY WHICH PUTS YOUR   SPENDING EACH MONTH AT $450.    IN ONE YEAR, IT WOULD BE APPROXIMATELY $5400 CORRECT?
Husband:    CORRECT!

Wife:     IF IN 1 YEAR YOU SPEND $5400, NOT ACCOUNTING FOR INFLATION, THE  PAST 20 YEARS PUTS YOUR SPENDING AT $108,000 CORRECT?
Husband:     CORRECT!

Wife:     DO YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU DIDN'T DRINK SO MUCH BEER, THAT MONEY  COULD HAVE BEEN PUT IN A STEP-UP INTEREST SAVINGS ACCOUNT AND AFTER ACCOUNTING FOR COMPOUND INTEREST FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS, YOU COULD HAVE NOW BOUGHT AN AIRPLANE?

Husband:    DO YOU DRINK BEER?
Wife:    NO.

Husband:     WHERE'S YOUR AIRPLANE?

[LennG]

good advice

[LennG]

Great message

[Sem]

a few more for laughs

Len, that last pic looks like my brewery logo.

[LennG]

a few more funnies

[LennG]

Best Senior Joke EVER

[LennG]

som,e more funnies