Just a joke

[LennG]

Some thing that are wise to live by

[LennG]

The Russian Way


Vladimir Putin, to get on the good side of voters, goes to visit a school in Moscow to have a chat with the kids.

He talks to them about how Russia is a powerful nation and how he wants the best for the people.

At the end of the talk there is a section for questions. Little Sasha puts her hand up and says, "I have two questions. Why did the Russians take Crimea and why are we sending troops to the Ukraine?

[LennG]

A few chuckles

[LennG]

A few about gas

[Jolly Blue Giant]

A balding, elderly white haired man from Sherman Oaks, California walked into a jewelry store in a local mall on a Friday evening with a beautiful, much younger gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a very special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $6,000 ring.

The man said, "No, I'd like to see something even more special...money is no object"

At that statement, the jeweler hiding a smile went back to his special stock and brought another ring to show the man and his girl friend.

"Here's a stunning ring reduced to only $50,000...it's worth much more" the jeweler said.

The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.

The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man said, "by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and then I'll be back to pick up the ring that afternoon."

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said "There was only $25 in your account."

"Yeah, I know", said the old man, "but let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!"

[Jolly Blue Giant]

A proud father took his young daughter to work on "Bring Your Daughter to Work Day"
As they walked around the building and was telling her about the business, she started to cry
His fellow employees gathered around wondering why the girl was crying
She finally got ahold of herself enough to explain... "where are all the clowns you said you work with? I wanted to see clowns"

[Jolly Blue Giant]

A man is flying in a hot-air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man below. He lowers the balloon farther and shouts, "Excuse me! Can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot-air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.

"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."

The man below says, "You must be in management."

"I am," replies the balloonist, "how did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

[Jolly Blue Giant]

Teacher addresses a student and asks:

[Jolly Blue Giant]

This is my once a year (pre-Easter) posting that I used to use when I was on Facebook - which I use about once a month now just to see pictures of my grandkids and great grandson...anyhooooo

[LennG]

It's been a while but here are a few relevant funnies

[Ed Vette]

It's been a while but here are a few relevant funnies

All good ones but the third one had me in stitches!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[LennG]

Funny


https://youtu.be/dURP5JBytHg

[LennG]

Tenjooberrymuds

I promised myself that I will learn Indian, so I can understand my doctors and the person that answers the phone when I have a warranty problem. Yep, by the time you read this, you too will be able to understand the 1st line.


In order to continue getting-by in Canada (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language!
Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term "TENJOOBERRYMUDS".

With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in. Now, here goes...

The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and call room-service somewhere in the good old Canada today.......

Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: " Rye. Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"

Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I 'd like to order bacon and eggs."

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Guest: ".....What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?!?... Pryed, boyud, poochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled, please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"

Guest: "I... Don 't think so."

Room Service: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don 't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

Room Service: "Toes! Toes!... Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin!!! I 've got it! You were saying 'toast '... Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

Room Service: "We bodder?"

Guest: "No, just put the bodder on the side."

Room Service: "Wad?!?"

Guest: "I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side."

Room Service: "Copy?"

Guest: "Excuse me?"

Room Service: "Copy...tea..meel?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything."

Room Service: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy .... Rye ??"

Guest: "Whatever you say.."

Room Service: "Tenjooberrymuds."

Guest: "You're welcome"

Remember I said "By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS ' ".......and you do, don't you!

[T200]

https://fb.watch/cjQmXTOdkK/

I hope everyone can view this video. Pretty clever. Bonus: there's a NY Giant in one of the clips he does.

Sent from my SM-G986U using Tapatalk

[LennG]

 A few more funnies