Just a joke

[Sem]

 I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and enjoyed a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
Just then, my wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "Just thinking" is because if I'd said that, she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." But you NEVER hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.

[Jolly Blue Giant]

[LennG]

 

A few while I was gone

[MightyGiants]

[LennG]

 SIMPLE TRUTH 1:
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
After sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

 
 SIMPLE TRUTH 2:
When a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congratulations."
But none go up to the man, touch his penis and say, "Good Job."
Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated.

 


 
1. Condoms do not guarantee safe sex! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

 
2. I think all politicians should wear uniforms. You know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors.

 
3. Also, all politicians should serve only two terms -- one in office and one in prison.
 This was a public service announcement.

[Sem]

[Jolly Blue Giant]