Just a joke

[LennG]

Its been a while

[GIANTS1]

My wife has been missing for a week. Policeman said  to prepare for the worst. So I went to Goodwill and got her clothes back.

[Sem]

I currently have a part time job vacancy, as the dude I pay to stop by once a week to pick up poop in my backyard just quit, after he realized that I don't have pets.

[Jolly Blue Giant]

A man goes to a psychiatrist for an evaluation.
The doctor asks questions for five minutes and says, "You're depressed."

The man says, "I don't think so. I want a second opinion."

Doctor adds, "Okay, you're also ugly!"   

[Sem]

A man goes to a psychiatrist for an evaluation.
The doctor asks questions for five minutes and says, "You're depressed."

The man says, "I don't think so. I want a second opinion."

Doctor adds, "Okay, you're also ugly!"   

Pretty sure that was a Rodney Dangerfield joke. He was the best!!

Another Rodney joke -

The other day I'm driving home from work, as I turn onto my street I see a naked man running down the street. I yell, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He says, "Because YOU came home early!!"

[Jolly Blue Giant]

Pretty sure that was a Rodney Dangerfield joke. He was the best!!

Another Rodney joke -

The other day I'm driving home from work, as I turn onto my street I see a naked man running down the street. I yell, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He says, "Because YOU came home early!!"

You're probably right.

Here's one that might have been already posted some time ago, but always makes me laugh.

I called my wife on her way home from work and said, "honey, be very careful driving home, I just heard on the radio that someone is driving the wrong way on the highway"

She replied, "that's nothing, there are hundreds of them"

[Sem]

Two mice proselytizers knock on the door of a mouse's residence.
The occupant answers the door.
Mouse: "Can I help you?"
Mice: "We'd like to talk to you about cheeses."

[LennG]

a few more signs that say a lot

[LennG]

A few 'new' ones, at least for me

[Sem]

[LennG]

 just got a few more

[Sem]

[Sem]

[LennG]

We are on a roll now