Big Blue Huddle

OK today is Friday (right) so here are a few for TGIF

 I have more

That gender studies is spot on! And it's not only boys that check out girlie mags...or the old Playgirl mags

A blonde and a redhead own a large farm and were partners in it. They discovered one day that their bull was missing so they had to replace the bull. The redhead told the blonde that she will go into town and try to find a bowl for a price that they could afford, they only had $500 and as it turns out all of the quotes were for $500 or more. The redhead went through all the resources and finally found a bull for the price of $499 so it left her with only one dollar in her pocket. She went to the telegraph office to send a telegram but found out that it's one dollar per word. She was going to send a telegram to the blonde so that she can meet her at the telegraph office with a pick up truck and a trailer to pick up the bull. However, she didn't have enough money to send a telegram. She thought for a minute and then decided that she would settle on one word , that word was comfortable. The telegraph operator said how would she know to bring the pick up truck and the trailer just by the word comfortable? The redhead said she's a blonde and she reads slow. Come for ta bull.

Woman stops 12 ft gator with .22 pistol!

"Florida Woman Stops Alligator Attack Using a small .22 caliber Ruger Pistol." Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit.

This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.

Here's her story in her own words: "While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in the Villages discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water.

It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.

"If I had not had my little Ruger 22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took.

The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus!"

I posted this on another thread, but it deserves to be seen by anyone who wasn't following that particular thread. It's one of the funniest videos I've ever seen, but then again, my sense of humor might be a little warped. Anyway

Defining Occupations As They Actually Are

Auditor - Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

Banker - The fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)

Economist - An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Programmer - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Mathematician - A blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.

Lawyer - A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief".

Psychologist - A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

Consultant - Someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

Diplomat - Someone who can tell you to go somewhere you don't like in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Quote from: Jolly Blue Giant on July 17, 2024, 11:57:04 AMI posted this on another thread, but it deserves to be seen by anyone who wasn't following that particular thread. It's one of the funniest videos I've ever seen, but then again, my sense of humor might be a little warped. Anyway

That's a classic.

My computer was on the fritz so I couldn't get into some of my funnies, but all is well now so here are a new bunch.

 The years do make a difference

A few more 'funny' ones

I guess it is all relevant)

 Just got this.  A real oldie but still a goodie

Quote from: Jolly Blue Giant on July 18, 2024, 03:52:04 PMDefining Occupations As They Actually Are

Auditor - Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

Banker - The fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)

Economist - An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Programmer - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Mathematician - A blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.

Lawyer - A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief".

Psychologist - A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

Consultant - Someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

Diplomat - Someone who can tell you to go somewhere you don't like in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

I like those. Here are a couple more.

Salesman - A person who can make you buy exactly what he wants you to buy, and you think it was your idea.

Engineers - A group of people who can design a Nuclear Reactor but can't invent tangle free Christmas lights.

Athlete - A person who doesn't know any more about sports than you do but won a genetic lottery at birth.

Senator - A lawyer who's sole function is to make life better for the people. He of course, is people #1.

Accountant - A person who when asked what is 2 + 2 answers with, "What do you want it to be?"

weekend funnies