Just a joke

[Ed Vette]

Q: What's the difference between the New York Giants and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: How do you keep a New York Giant out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

"My wife was about to put my son in a New York Giants jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard."


"Giants Fan On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Giants fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Giants fans. Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?' Because I'm not a Giants fan,' she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Giants fan, then who are you a fan of?' 'I am a Patriots fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Janie please tell us why you are a Patriots fan?' "Because my mom is a Patriots fan, and my dad is Patriots fan, so I'm a Patriots fan too!" "Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Patriots fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?' "Then," Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Giants fan.'

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/nfljokes/newyorkgiantsjokes.html

[LennG]

When you marry an Italian

http://safeshare.tv/v/ss564899c87c19e

[babywhales]

LOL

[JimboWHO]

Three couples showed up at a church and expressed an interest in joining.  The Parish priest explained that he would be happy to have them but that a prerequisite would be that they'd have to abstain from sex for three months.

First couple looked at each other and said "Fine - we understand."  Secnd couple replied "That shouldn't be a problem."  Third couple paused and said "We''ll give it a try."

Couples came back after three months and the priest said "How did we do?"  The first couple smiled and said "We sailed right through - seemed like three days not three months."   Priest congratulated them on joining the church.  The second couple replied "Well, have to admit we were tempted a time or two but we hung in there and made it."  Priest congratulated them as well.  The priest then turned to the third couple and the husband explained "Well, father it was tough.  We were going along OK for a while there but two and a half months in I had a moment of weakness - my wife bent over to pick up a can of beans and I lost control."

The priest sadly said "Well I'm sorry but you'll not be permtted to join our parish."  The husband replied "That's alright.  We're not allowed in the supermarket anymore either."


JJM

[LennG]

A Fishing Story

[bamagiantfan]

Q: Why did the Eagles fire Chip Kelly?
A: So they could play without a head coach and general manager, just like the Giants.

[LennG]

Q: Why did the Eagles fire Chip Kelly?
A: So they could play without a head coach and general manager, just like the Giants.

ouch

[bamagiantfan]

ouch

Don't shoot the messenger. I thought it was clever though less than accurate.

[LennG]

THE BOTTLE OF WINE
 
For all of you who are married, were married, wish you were
married or wish you were not married, this is something to smile
about the next time you see a bottle of wine...


Fred was driving home from one of his business trips, in
Northern Arizona, when he saw an elderly Navajo man walking on
the side of the road.


As the trip was a long and quiet one, he stopped the car
and asked the Navajo man if he would like a ride.  With a silent nod
of thanks, the Indian got into the car.


Resuming the journey, Fred tried - in vain - to make a bit
of small talk with the Navajo man.  The old man just sat silently,
looking intently at everything he saw, studying every little       
detail, until he noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Fred.


"What in bag?" asked the old man.


Fred looked down at the brown bag and said: "It's a bottle
of wine.  I got it for my wife."


The Navajo man was silent for another moment or two...


Then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, he
said:  "Good trade ..!!!"

[bamagiantfan]

My father traveled a lot for his job and had some stories that were often very funny.

Once when he was flying home to Newark he boarded the plane and found himself sitting next to a very attractive young lady with an infant in her arms. As he told it to my mother; "The plane started to take off and the baby started crying. After several minutes the baby was screaming with tears rolling down his face. There seemed to be no consoling the child and everything they tried failed to calm the baby down. Finally, the young lady unbuttoned her shirt, pulled out one of her breasts from her bra and began nursing the child in full view."

"There's nothing wrong with that." my mother replied. "What did you do?"

My father replied, "I started crying too."

[LennG]

I nearly became a Doctor .





When I was young in the late 1960's, I decided I wanted to a be doctor so I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School.

One of the questions asked us was to rearrange the letters PNEIS into
the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered 'spine' are doctors today.






The rest of us are sending jokes via email.

[Ed Vette]

Four friends, who hadn

[LennG]

Bob a young journalism graduate from the University of Arkansas had gone to work
for the New York Times. His first assignment was to write a brief human interest
story. An idea came to Bob and he returned to one of the most remote areas he knew
of in his home state of Arkansas .

Deep in the woods, Bob came upon a farmers house and decided this would be a good
place to start.

He introduced himself to the back country farmer and explained why he was there.

The farmer (named Farmer Dick) agreed to answer his questions.

Bob asked farmer Dick what event in his life had made him the happiest?

Farmer Dick replied,

[Ed Vette]

This might be the case for most husbands.

[Sem]