Just a joke

[LennG]

Evolution of woman's underwear

[LennG]

 A few weekend funnies

[LennG]

A doctor tells his blonde patient that she needs to lose a little bit of weight for her health. He tells her that his recommendation is that she eats regularly for two days, skips a day and then repeats the procedure for two weeks. He then tells her that she will lose at least five pounds by the time she comes to his office again. The next time he sees her, she's nearly 20 pounds lighter. "That's amazing! Did you follow my instructions?" the doctor asks. "Yes, she said. But I really thought I was going to die," she says. "From hunger?" the doctor asks. "No, from skipping," the blonde replies.


Ta-Dum

[Sem]

[Sem]

[LennG]

A few more

[Sem]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBZV4hkUk4E&t=41s

[LennG]

THE LAWYER

A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children, needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner, who wanted to reoccupy the home.

No one would rent a home to him when he said he had 12 children because they felt that the children would destroy the place.

He couldn't say he had no children because he couldn't lie (as we all know, lawyers cannot, and do not lie).

Getting ready to view other properties,  he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids. He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent.

He loved one of the homes and the price was right.

The agent asked:" How many children do you have?"

He answered: "Twelve."

The agent asked, "Where are the others?"

The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look, answered, "They're in the cemetery with their mother."

MORAL: It's not necessary to lie; one has only to arrange the circumstances.

[LennG]

A real oldie



A man is driving down the road with a bunch of penguins in the back seat of his car. The police stop him and tell the man that he cannot drive down the road with that many penguins in his car, it's illegal. They inform him that he needs to take the penguins to the zoo right away. He is pulled over again the following day by the same police officer when the officer notices all the penguins still in the man's car. He says to the man, "I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!" to which the man replies, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the movies."

[Ed Vette]

A real oldie



A man is driving down the road with a bunch of penguins in the back seat of his car. The police stop him and tell the man that he cannot drive down the road with that many penguins in his car, it's illegal. They inform him that he needs to take the penguins to the zoo right away. He is pulled over again the following day by the same police officer when the officer notices all the penguins still in the man's car. He says to the man, "I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!" to which the man replies, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the movies."

😩

[ozzie]

Yes, an oldie but a goodie 

[LennG]

Total Eclipse

[LennG]

 Some funny lines

[LennG]

He Said/ She Said



He said.... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said.... You wear pants don't you?

He said..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said... That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said..... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said..... Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said..... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

[Sem]