Just a joke

[Jolly Blue Giant]

That one with the golf club is 100% true - that is, if I was hitting it. I could buy a house with the money I've wasted hitting golf balls into the water 

[Jolly Blue Giant]

I have to imagine the marketing person who chose this advertisement got fired...or should have been

[Sem]

[LennG]

 Some weekend funnies

[GIANTS1]

saw this the other day.

The lions hate the packers so much they refuse to play  for the Lombardi trophy.

[Sem]

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[LennG]

We all remember Peanuts and Charles Schultz.

Here are a few of his 'works' that may not be funny, but get  the point across in a very cute way

[Jolly Blue Giant]

A farmer named Clyde had a tractor accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question, ...please. Did you, or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer behind the tractor and I was driving down the road...."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie".

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my John Deer Tractor right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, "How are you feeling?"

"Now tell me, what the heck would you say?"

[LennG]

Weekend goodies

[LennG]

No more football rehab 101

[LennG]

NO SPEAK ENGLISH !



A German woman married an American gentleman born in Virginia and they lived happily ever after in his hometown.

The poor lady didn't speak English but was able to communicate with her husband.

The real problem arose

whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher counter and wanted to

buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her

request so, in desperation, she clucked like a chicken and lifted

up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave

her chicken legs.

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she

didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and

unbuttoned Her blouse to show the butcher her breasts.

The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages.

Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her

husband to the store...

 


(Please scroll down.)



 





What were you Thinking?

 


Her husband speaks English....hellooo!

 

 

I worry about you!

[LennG]

 Mid week funnies