Just a joke

[LennG]

More 'oldies'

[LennG]

Old but still relevent




A New York attorney representing a very wealthy art collector called
and asked to speak to his client.
"Mr. Cohen I have some good news and I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so
let's hear the good news first."
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed
me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that
she thinks will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million ... and I think she could be right."
The collector replied enthusiastically, "Holy cow!  Well done!  My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn't she? You've just made my day. Now, I know I can handle the bad news.  What is it?
The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary.

[LennG]

It's been a while since we laughed together, so let's start now

[LennG]

 A few more to help us thru this day

[LennG]

I thought these are really funny, and true

[LennG]

It snowed last night......

We received about 2 inches of snow yesterday and

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.

8:22 - The transgender man.. women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not used to decorate snow figures.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.

8:37 - Then accused of using a black face on the snowperson.

8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered.

8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - TV news crew from CBS showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.

9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.

10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman...


Moral: There ain't no moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.

[LennG]

Words that are truly wise

[LennG]

 A few more quotes that need to be thought about

[Jolly Blue Giant]

Lenn, just so you know - I love your jokes. For some reason (security software on my PC) I can't hit "Like" because the button doesn't even show on my computer...otherwise, I'd have hit "Like" many times for your jokes.

Anyway, I'll try to find a few oldies to post:

[Ed Vette]

Lenn, just so you know - I love your jokes. For some reason (security software on my PC) I can't hit "Like" because the button doesn't even show on my computer...otherwise, I'd have hit "Like" many times for your jokes.

Anyway, I'll try to find a few oldies to post:

I agree. I enjoy Lenny's jokes and have shared some of them on Facebook, always giving credit to my friend Len. Your first one brought back memories of my College Macro Economics Professor. He asked a question to the class and when someone raised their hand to answer, he asked him "How are you doing today Mr. .... and he replied "I'm doing good'. He then responded, "You don't don't do good, you do well!. 

[LennG]

 Thanks for the kind words. I get many of these thru emails but, each of us has our own definition of what's funny. So I just post the ones I feel as am, using and so-o-o true.

As I said we were on a cruise last week. They had one comedian who told this great joke, let me see if I can relate it here.

Thre men were out golfing, a Priest, a Doctor, and an Engineer.
While they were playing the party just ahead of them seemed to be taking forever to play each hole. As time went on, the 3 men became more and more frustrated and at the 9th hole decided to approach the 4some right in front of them and see what was taking them so long for each hole. When they got to where the 4some was playing, they saw that the men were blind and all were ex firefighters.
Feeling a bit foolish now, the Priest said to the blind firefighters, "Thank you all so much for your gallant service and I will pray for you every night"
The Doctor then said " I know the best optimologist anywhere and I will call him to see if he can help any of you, at no charge"

The engineer stepped forward and said  (Ready for this)


'Why don't you guys play at night?"

[LennG]

A few new ones (or maybe old ones depending on if you've seen them before)

[LennG]

Ponder these:


Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion
stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is
wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?


Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?


Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for
centuries' have a 'use by' date?

Why do toasters include a setting that burns toast to a horrible crisp
no one would eat?


f Wile E.Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
couldn't he just buy dinner?


And finally, this has been asked for centuries and still no answer

If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him,
is he still wrong?

[Sem]

[LennG]

My thought for the New Year